Interracial Marriage

[makemefly 0]

COOL, another interracial and transnational marriage . I pretty sure u hv had received very similar remarks as us . One thing we did notice is dat if your man is white, its more acceptable, guess white supremacy is still very much alive, a leftover from colonial times.

Well, in my case, it was my father who was worried about him cheating me, I was mean but I told my father that he is not a millionaires and no one is keen to cheat his daughter of her inheritance, cos theres none, also he should hv faith in his upbringing dat his daughter is not gullible... Anyway, my father is always seeking my hb's opinions on things now, finally believes in his daughter's choice.

Don't they look cuter wif curly hair..... Luckily for me, my boy's hair is only curly not kinky. When I was pregnant, i was worried that if its a girl, I wouldn't know how to comb out the hair, cos no experience even doing our straight asian hair. I hv got very short hair for as long as I can remember... Whats worst, my hb's nieces scream whenever their hair get combed, and thats by their very experienced mothers .

Yes there is deinfitely white supremacy very much alive here.

We don't have any kids yet but it'd be interesting to see how they turn out.

When you are in an actual interracial/transnational marriage, one the last hurdles is actually the cultural difference. If one is not open minded enough. he/she wouldn't even go into an interracial marriage, right?

Can your hubby speak any other language besides english? Could be interesting for the kids to know both languages and cultures from both sides. between my hubby and me, there are like 6 languages! H'es the more multi-lingual one though. My mum too used to worry I'd get cheated becuase he's a foreigner.. now she keeps telling him about about similarities between china and india all the time. It's quite amusing.. but then he gets "accused" by my mum of forgettting his roots because he'd claim he's not indian. Where he comes from, ethnicity is not a big deal like in singapore. there are many people from mixed heritages there

[MLR 0]

Yes there is deinfitely white supremacy very much alive here.

We don't have any kids yet but it'd be interesting to see how they turn out.

When you are in an actual interracial/transnational marriage, one the last hurdles is actually the cultural difference. If one is not open minded enough. he/she wouldn't even go into an interracial marriage, right?

Can your hubby speak any other language besides english? Could be interesting for the kids to know both languages and cultures from both sides. between my hubby and me, there are like 6 languages! H'es the more multi-lingual one though. My mum too used to worry I'd get cheated becuase he's a foreigner.. now she keeps telling him about about similarities between china and india all the time. It's quite amusing.. but then he gets "accused" by my mum of forgettting his roots because he'd claim he's not indian. Where he comes from, ethnicity is not a big deal like in singapore. there are many people from mixed heritages there

Mixed kids are always cuter, at least the 10 or so in our group. Our Chinese girlfriend who married Indian, their girl has the father's features and mum's hair and skin=nice sharp features wif dark silky hair and porcelain skin (the mum is very fair). So, my guess is your kid willl be gorgeous too.

I went to neighbourhood schools where theres a high mix of different ethnic group. My primary school best friend is an Indian boy wif Chinese mum and my polymate is Thai/Chinese. I guess dat kind of break the race barrier for me. Wow, 6 languages... definately an asset if your child can master all of them. My hubby is able to speak French and Spanish to get by, I am effectively bilingual. Our plan for my boy is for him to be fluent in Chinese other than English, since mum is Chinese. So, that pushes me to keep up wif my use of Mandarin and chinese writing skills too. Among my hubby's favourite food are chiili crab, satay, beef noodles and mee goreng, also spicy Thai food is the usual dine-out choice. He does misses his mum's cooking too, but she is 20+ hours flight away. Bcos of his background (hes Trininadian/Canadian), he is highly adaptable, and til date he can't understand why are men in their 20s/30s still staying wif parents. Another is why are mums here treating their grown up children like they r still in primary schools... doing their laundry, ironing their clothes, cleaning up their rooms, etc...

You met your hubby in S'pore?

[makemefly 0]

Mixed kids are always cuter, at least the 10 or so in our group. Our Chinese girlfriend who married Indian, their girl has the father's features and mum's hair and skin=nice sharp features wif dark silky hair and porcelain skin (the mum is very fair). So, my guess is your kid willl be gorgeous too.

I went to neighbourhood schools where theres a high mix of different ethnic group. My primary school best friend is an Indian boy wif Chinese mum and my polymate is Thai/Chinese. I guess dat kind of break the race barrier for me. Wow, 6 languages... definately an asset if your child can master all of them. My hubby is able to speak French and Spanish to get by, I am effectively bilingual. Our plan for my boy is for him to be fluent in Chinese other than English, since mum is Chinese. So, that pushes me to keep up wif my use of Mandarin and chinese writing skills too. Among my hubby's favourite food are chiili crab, satay, beef noodles and mee goreng, also spicy Thai food is the usual dine-out choice. He does misses his mum's cooking too, but she is 20+ hours flight away. Bcos of his background (hes Trininadian/Canadian), he is highly adaptable, and til date he can't understand why are men in their 20s/30s still staying wif parents. Another is why are mums here treating their grown up children like they r still in primary schools... doing their laundry, ironing their clothes, cleaning up their rooms, etc...

You met your hubby in S'pore?

Yep I met him while in uni here. I agree that some guys here are so mummy's boys and such a turn off!

Originally I had worried we will not like each other's cuisine (I had been in another interracial relationship), but he was highly adaptable! In fact, I am now trying all means to get him to stop speaking singlish (but unsuccessful). We enjoy mostly the same food, chinese, thai, italian, muslim. I'm not such a big fan of indian food though. I don't mind the ocassional north indian food (he's ethnically north indian) though. He's from Mauritius The cuisine's great, it's like a mix of indian, french, and chinese.

We are both of the opinion that some local guys are such wimps.. oops.. I'm gonna draw a lot of flack from saying this. I must emphasize on SOME though, lest I get tracked down and beaten up.

I find traits in him that I have never seen in any local guys or guys I dated, such as being very hands on, build things from scratch (metal, wood, etc), being able to repair things... and even liking cooking! I guess these are traits in him that my dad had too. (my dad is chinese, just like my mum, but my dad moved here when he was 15 by himself and stayed with his cousin, so I really don't think he's the typical singaporean guy).

Just a personal preference, I hate effeminate features on a guy.

Edited June 16, 2008 by makemefly

[MLR 0]

Yep I met him while in uni here. I agree that some guys here are so mummy's boys and such a turn off!

Originally I had worried we will not like each other's cuisine (I had been in another interracial relationship), but he was highly adaptable! In fact, I am now trying all means to get him to stop speaking singlish (but unsuccessful). We enjoy mostly the same food, chinese, thai, italian, muslim. I'm not such a big fan of indian food though. I don't mind the ocassional north indian food (he's ethnically north indian) though. He's from Mauritius The cuisine's great, it's like a mix of indian, french, and chinese.

We are both of the opinion that some local guys are such wimps.. oops.. I'm gonna draw a lot of flack from saying this. I must emphasize on SOME though, lest I get tracked down and beaten up.

I find traits in him that I have never seen in any local guys or guys I dated, such as being very hands on, build things from scratch (metal, wood, etc), being able to repair things... and even liking cooking! I guess these are traits in him that my dad had too. (my dad is chinese, just like my mum, but my dad moved here when he was 15 by himself and stayed with his cousin, so I really don't think he's the typical singaporean guy).

Just a personal preference, I hate effeminate features on a guy.

Does meeting him leads to u believing in fate? He came to S'pore bcos of his then girlfriend who was working in S'pore. I met him when he was going thru a bad patch.... started out as helping out this poor guy all alone here and mending a broken heart (his g/f met someone else and kick him out of the place they shared).... I was trying hard not to go into another relationship after a bad breakup... and we actually told each other that we are just friends...yet we felt very attracted to each other, but we resisted. It wasn't till he went back for a family reunion and was away for 2 mths, we missed each other so much and had to be on the phone for at least an hour everyday (I m the type of person who couldn't stand talking on the phone for more than 15mins), thats when we knew that we want to be together.

Hes not very hands on, I m the one who is more handy (bcos of my technical background). My brother-in-law (sis's hubby) is the handy man in our family, he's mechanically and electrically trained . Local men are just too pampered by parents and wif maid at home, they don't nid to do any housework. But most guys are better now, after they got married, they start helping out in housework and such.

When we first stayed together, hes the one whos doing most of the housework, he finds it therapeutic to do laundry and wash dishes. I couldn't believe my luck, a man dat likes to do cleaning! Now dat we have a little one, we hv a part-time helper that comes in once a week to help wif ironing, washing of toilet and serious vacumn, mopping. He still sweep with the magic mop everyday and he is still the main laudromat. The idea of maid came up after we had our boy, but we just couldn't have a stanger in the house. During my confinement, my mum came to stay and she was motified when she saw my hubby washing my underwear . My hubby just matter of factly told her dat its fine and hes ok with doing her laundry too

Another thing dat I find enticing is dat he never presume about things. But sometimes can be very tiring too, hving to explain about lots of our traditions and cultures background to him.

Sometimes, we can't believe its been 10 years since we met, jus seems not too long ago.

[makemefly 0]

Does meeting him leads to u believing in fate? He came to S'pore bcos of his then girlfriend who was working in S'pore. I met him when he was going thru a bad patch.... started out as helping out this poor guy all alone here and mending a broken heart (his g/f met someone else and kick him out of the place they shared).... I was trying hard not to go into another relationship after a bad breakup... and we actually told each other that we are just friends...yet we felt very attracted to each other, but we resisted. It wasn't till he went back for a family reunion and was away for 2 mths, we missed each other so much and had to be on the phone for at least an hour everyday (I m the type of person who couldn't stand talking on the phone for more than 15mins), thats when we knew that we want to be together.

Hes not very hands on, I m the one who is more handy (bcos of my technical background). My brother-in-law (sis's hubby) is the handy man in our family, he's mechanically and electrically trained . Local men are just too pampered by parents and wif maid at home, they don't nid to do any housework. But most guys are better now, after they got married, they start helping out in housework and such.

When we first stayed together, hes the one whos doing most of the housework, he finds it therapeutic to do laundry and wash dishes. I couldn't believe my luck, a man dat likes to do cleaning! Now dat we have a little one, we hv a part-time helper that comes in once a week to help wif ironing, washing of toilet and serious vacumn, mopping. He still sweep with the magic mop everyday and he is still the main laudromat. The idea of maid came up after we had our boy, but we just couldn't have a stanger in the house. During my confinement, my mum came to stay and she was motified when she saw my hubby washing my underwear . My hubby just matter of factly told her dat its fine and hes ok with doing her laundry too

Another thing dat I find enticing is dat he never presume about things. But sometimes can be very tiring too, hving to explain about lots of our traditions and cultures background to him.

Sometimes, we can't believe its been 10 years since we met, jus seems not too long ago.

I'm not sure of tha fate thing, because I think believing too much in fate can make one give up easily on difficulties of life.. well, i'm not so great myself, i just try really hard from believing in fate.. but it is amazing that two people from different continents can come together. in a way, very similar to my parents, cuz my dad came from china and my mum's born here.

Yups, you are right about having to teach the guy the different cultural things, because of the difference. But heres the fun I guess. If you are of the same culture, you'd hardly think about your cultures right? When I went o Mauritius, it took some getting used to because people greet each otehr much like the french way (kissing both cheeks). At first I was a bit squirmish at having to do that, especially to men. But soon I got used to it. When I came back, I missed greeting people this way

In a way, it was good that he was not from a chinese culture, because you know how chinese had pretty silly traditions, such like the one you mentioned about women's underwear. I totally get what you mean.

We've been together 5 years Half of yours.

[MLR 0]

I'm not sure of tha fate thing, because I think believing too much in fate can make one give up easily on difficulties of life.. well, i'm not so great myself, i just try really hard from believing in fate.. but it is amazing that two people from different continents can come together. in a way, very similar to my parents, cuz my dad came from china and my mum's born here.

Yups, you are right about having to teach the guy the different cultural things, because of the difference. But heres the fun I guess. If you are of the same culture, you'd hardly think about your cultures right? When I went o Mauritius, it took some getting used to because people greet each otehr much like the french way (kissing both cheeks). At first I was a bit squirmish at having to do that, especially to men. But soon I got used to it. When I came back, I missed greeting people this way

In a way, it was good that he was not from a chinese culture, because you know how chinese had pretty silly traditions, such like the one you mentioned about women's underwear. I totally get what you mean.

We've been together 5 years Half of yours.

I m not a believer, jus dat most around me find our union is fated.

about the kissing of both cheeks... still get quite a bit of this from my hb's circle, my feeling is that it brings pple closer instantly. When i first went to Trinidad, i couldn't stand their overly (in my opinion) laid back way of life, they seems to hv a different clock that gives them an extra 12 hours a day or something. Things are slow to get done, nothing seems urgent enough for immediate attention. It took more than an hour just to update your bank account and get a new atm card . pple there are so friendly and warm, strangers greet each other, friends and neighbors always welcome you into their home, anytime of the day. A simple hello to next door neighbor turns into a half day visit wif tea and dinner served. I got a taste of how does it feel to be a minority, but in a good way. When I came back, I missed the greetings and smiles on the road, in the mall.

We are more forgiving towards each other bcos of our different background. We always hv to try harder cos we attract more attention than my siblings. We are more open wif each other bcos theres always situation of miscommunication/misconception. We are stronger bcos we went thru lots together........

[makemefly 0]

I m not a believer, jus dat most around me find our union is fated.

about the kissing of both cheeks... still get quite a bit of this from my hb's circle, my feeling is that it brings pple closer instantly. When i first went to Trinidad, i couldn't stand their overly (in my opinion) laid back way of life, they seems to hv a different clock that gives them an extra 12 hours a day or something. Things are slow to get done, nothing seems urgent enough for immediate attention. It took more than an hour just to update your bank account and get a new atm card . pple there are so friendly and warm, strangers greet each other, friends and neighbors always welcome you into their home, anytime of the day. A simple hello to next door neighbor turns into a half day visit wif tea and dinner served. I got a taste of how does it feel to be a minority, but in a good way. When I came back, I missed the greetings and smiles on the road, in the mall.

We are more forgiving towards each other bcos of our different background. We always hv to try harder cos we attract more attention than my siblings. We are more open wif each other bcos theres always situation of miscommunication/misconception. We are stronger bcos we went thru lots together........

Yeah people were much warmer in Mauritius too, and pace of life.. wahhh.. so slow.. when I came back to Singapore on a weekend.. I asked my hubby.. it's sunday, why are people walking so quickly?

I went visiting with his family to some neighbours' houses too.. people were very warm, and Mauritian creole is cool cuz people tlak in such a gentle smooth way. They were all very nice too. I was much happier there... I did not lose my temper much even though there are some things I didn't like. I guess being in such a laidback culture makes your temper a bit better? I was also minority there.. but when I went to Chinatown in the capital, a woman (old chinese lady shopkeeper) guessed that I was from Singapore

In fact I like Mauritius so much I want to live there one day, if only the crime rate is not so high there! Well, but they have more democracy than here. Surprisingly for a "developing" country more "backward" than Singapore, they rank up there with the western countries on their democracy!

[MLR 0]

We are planning for retirement in Trinidad. Crime rate there is amongst highest in the Carribean, lots of robbery and kidnapping.... hopefully in 15/20 yrs time, it would improve. I think its worth the risk, just hv to built higher fences and invest in better security system. I believe in 20 yrs time, it would be quite impossible to retire comfortably in S'pore with the increasing standard of living and soaring inflation rate.

Well, I m glad that I hv a choice, jus dat to leave my family would be a little tough. But I wouldn't miss the opportunity to retire in the carribean islands.