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To Have Or Not To Have?

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Thank u, guess i have to struggle to "fight" for my rights then..

as for the informal time off which my other colleagues are getting, guess if he doesn't grant me I also cannot complain bec' it is not a stated company rule/privilege.

Bt I guess gynaes will provide u MCs when there is any need or excuse chit?

Perhaps u can check it out....as u may need to keep the A/L in case yr baby may need

yr attention in future or in case of any emergencies.

Such boss really not understanding and do tink he is a family man himself! Shame!

Ya he prefer us to take leave like half day half day type.. not one shot a few days to 1-2 weeks.

Har....if got emergency cases, then how? Must go back office report to him for 1/2 a day then go off ah?

Then wat is the meaning behind emergency leave?

I guess he will not be too happi if his staff taking emergency leaves ba?

Really "Guo fen"!

 

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Bt I guess gynaes will provide u MCs when there is any need or excuse chit?

Perhaps u can check it out....as u may need to keep the A/L in case yr baby may need

yr attention in future or in case of any emergencies.

Such boss really not understanding and do tink he is a family man himself! Shame!

Har....if got emergency cases, then how? Must go back office report to him for 1/2 a day then go off ah?

Then wat is the meaning behind emergency leave?

I guess he will not be too happi if his staff taking emergency leaves ba?

Really "Guo fen"!

Let me add two more days to your entitlement. Child care leave from the PM announcement in 2006 National Day's Rally. :(

 

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Bt I guess gynaes will provide u MCs when there is any need or excuse chit?

Perhaps u can check it out....as u may need to keep the A/L in case yr baby may need

yr attention in future or in case of any emergencies.

Such boss really not understanding and do tink he is a family man himself! Shame!

Har....if got emergency cases, then how? Must go back office report to him for 1/2 a day then go off ah?

Then wat is the meaning behind emergency leave?

I guess he will not be too happi if his staff taking emergency leaves ba?

Really "Guo fen"!

I spoke to HR and they say the hours off arrangement is a special arrangement which boss must allow (not HR policy) so if like this, I think my boss won't agree (he is v kia si). Gynae say can give MC, but even that may take up to 8-9 days for the whole year (even if each appt is half day MC), probably will scrap away all my MCs. I was hoping to save up as much leave and MC as possible in case may need to take extra for any emergency on top of maternity leave. Cos i seen complications in my colleague case before and she has to take leave on top of maternity leave.

Maybe i won't even ask him, I think i dun dare to ask him in case he may start to grumble again.. (dislike to hear him nag).. I just take MC then.. but will explain it is for gynae appt so he won't tink why i keep falling sick.

For emergency leave, I have to personally call him and explain the reason. I used to tell him personal reason but he insist to know WHAT personal reason. Even if i take leave for more than 3 days, I have to tell him the reason and for what etc.

And mind, he is not my leave approver. He is our team head but he is so strict on leave that my leave approver feel so stressed (having to answer his questions on why and who take leave etc) that I always choose to explain to him first before i take leave so my leave approver won't face the stress.

And my leave approver, having to cover all our work when we go on leave, will always have to discuss with us and arrange so that we dun take leave that crash with each other. Other teams, they took leave together also nothing will happen, they just take and go. I have a clerk who took 1 mth for holiday, also nothing happen. (she belong to another team).

Edited by Cokelight
 

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I spoke to HR and they say the hours off arrangement is a special arrangement which boss must allow (not HR policy) so if like this, I think my boss won't agree (he is v kia si). Gynae say can give MC, but even that may take up to 8-9 days for the whole year (even if each appt is half day MC), probably will scrap away all my MCs. I was hoping to save up as much leave and MC as possible in case may need to take extra for any emergency on top of maternity leave. Cos i seen complications in my colleague case before and she has to take leave on top of maternity leave.

Maybe i won't even ask him, I think i dun dare to ask him in case he may start to grumble again.. (dislike to hear him nag).. I just take MC then.. but will explain it is for gynae appt so he won't tink why i keep falling sick.

For emergency leave, I have to personally call him and explain the reason. I used to tell him personal reason but he insist to know WHAT personal reason. Even if i take leave for more than 3 days, I have to tell him the reason and for what etc.

And mind, he is not my leave approver. He is our team head but he is so strict on leave that my leave approver feel so stressed (having to answer his questions on why and who take leave etc) that I always choose to explain to him first before i take leave so my leave approver won't face the stress.

And my leave approver, having to cover all our work when we go on leave, will always have to discuss with us and arrange so that we dun take leave that crash with each other. Other teams, they took leave together also nothing will happen, they just take and go. I have a clerk who took 1 mth for holiday, also nothing happen. (she belong to another team).

Its really sad to have sub-standards in a company especially we are all under the same roof and hving the same payroll and cost centre.

And take emergency leave still hv to explain in details! If it is something personal means personal and cannot reveal la...cos personal ma...wah piangz...I tink yr team head is the only one whom wanna set such rules himself! Perhaps he wanna prove to the management tat he is doing something beneficial to the company lor (bt at the expense of the employees). Sorry for being frank, bt really suay to hv such team head!

Anyway, cokelight, take good care of yrself and prepare to deliver a cute baby ba! Dun brood over it too much! Yrs is a baby gal or boy? :sport-smiley-018:

 

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I spoke to HR and they say the hours off arrangement is a special arrangement which boss must allow (not HR policy) so if like this, I think my boss won't agree (he is v kia si). Gynae say can give MC, but even that may take up to 8-9 days for the whole year (even if each appt is half day MC), probably will scrap away all my MCs. I was hoping to save up as much leave and MC as possible in case may need to take extra for any emergency on top of maternity leave. Cos i seen complications in my colleague case before and she has to take leave on top of maternity leave.

Maybe i won't even ask him, I think i dun dare to ask him in case he may start to grumble again.. (dislike to hear him nag).. I just take MC then.. but will explain it is for gynae appt so he won't tink why i keep falling sick.

For emergency leave, I have to personally call him and explain the reason. I used to tell him personal reason but he insist to know WHAT personal reason. Even if i take leave for more than 3 days, I have to tell him the reason and for what etc.

And mind, he is not my leave approver. He is our team head but he is so strict on leave that my leave approver feel so stressed (having to answer his questions on why and who take leave etc) that I always choose to explain to him first before i take leave so my leave approver won't face the stress.

And my leave approver, having to cover all our work when we go on leave, will always have to discuss with us and arrange so that we dun take leave that crash with each other. Other teams, they took leave together also nothing will happen, they just take and go. I have a clerk who took 1 mth for holiday, also nothing happen. (she belong to another team).

Hi Cokelight, stay positiveness toward the EDD and be happy. This is crucial in pre-post natal. Afterall, the most importance support an woman should seek for is from the Man. I believe the man will share the load of it and be supportive to you all the way.

Takes turns to clear the leave/ MCs/ Childcare / Paternity / Maternity leave if possbile.

There must be a way to work out. So just go for it. if needed to fight against any obstacles/ challanges in life, leave it to the man, it is his job to bring the bread back.Your duties nows is to stay healthy, happy and wait for the love ones to arrive.icon12.gif

 

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I also had similar experience on this. I went for an interview previously, and the interviewer asked me, " Are you single or attached?" I replied no as I do not have a bf at that point of time. But for some reason, the interviewer seemed to doubt me and followed with this : "Then are you planning to get married in the short run?"

Before I can open my mouth to say anything, he continued to say : "We hope that we don't employ ppl who are going to marry soon or having a kid soon. We cannot afford to employ ppl like that coz there will not be anyone to take care of their duties. So, I better warn you 1st."

:sport-smiley-004::notti:

Where got ppl like that one?

But upon reading the above posts, I guess, there are companies with those 'internal' policies thou. :o

 

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I also had similar experience on this. I went for an interview previously, and the interviewer asked me, " Are you single or attached?" I replied no as I do not have a bf at that point of time. But for some reason, the interviewer seemed to doubt me and followed with this : "Then are you planning to get married in the short run?"

Before I can open my mouth to say anything, he continued to say : "We hope that we don't employ ppl who are going to marry soon or having a kid soon. We cannot afford to employ ppl like that coz there will not be anyone to take care of their duties. So, I better warn you 1st."

:yamseng::notti:

Where got ppl like that one?

But upon reading the above posts, I guess, there are companies with those 'internal' policies thou. :dunno:

I am glad they rejected you straight in front rather than join in with regrets. Truely only wanted Kolis and not workers.Just like the african slaves they are after to.... :jawdrop:

 

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I am glad they rejected you straight in front rather than join in with regrets. Truely only wanted Kolis and not workers.Just like the african slaves they are after to.... :yamseng:

True also lar. But I was very paiseh at that point of time leh. That incident happened 6 months ago. Lucky I never join them. Cause, I got myself a bf and really settled to get married next year. Phew. Imagine that they sacked me after knowing I made plans to get marry? :notti:

 

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Hi Cokelight, stay positiveness toward the EDD and be happy. This is crucial in pre-post natal. Afterall, the most importance support an woman should seek for is from the Man. I believe the man will share the load of it and be supportive to you all the way.

Takes turns to clear the leave/ MCs/ Childcare / Paternity / Maternity leave if possbile.

There must be a way to work out. So just go for it. if needed to fight against any obstacles/ challanges in life, leave it to the man, it is his job to bring the bread back.Your duties nows is to stay healthy, happy and wait for the love ones to arrive.icon12.gif

recently work went into some blunders and some serious probs occur, guess its gonna be more stressed for me now.

My salary is almost same as my hb, so need both person salary. Moreover, i need to feed my parents and younger sibling.

Now i feel so stressed that i wonder should i consider to find another job that is less stressful (but too late to change job now that ored preggy).

I also had similar experience on this. I went for an interview previously, and the interviewer asked me, " Are you single or attached?" I replied no as I do not have a bf at that point of time. But for some reason, the interviewer seemed to doubt me and followed with this : "Then are you planning to get married in the short run?"

Before I can open my mouth to say anything, he continued to say : "We hope that we don't employ ppl who are going to marry soon or having a kid soon. We cannot afford to employ ppl like that coz there will not be anyone to take care of their duties. So, I better warn you 1st."

:notti::)

Where got ppl like that one?

But upon reading the above posts, I guess, there are companies with those 'internal' policies thou. :bow:

The problem with the mindset of the employers in singapore is that, they tend to tink that it is that they can pick on the interviewees.. but they never consider that they also need to win over the interviewees.

 

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My salary is almost same as my hb, so need both person salary. Moreover, i need to feed my parents and younger sibling.

Now i feel so stressed that i wonder should i consider to find another job that is less stressful (but too late to change job now that ored preggy).

Can understd how stressed u are...So many mouths to feed & yet employer not understanding.....Sometimes, i feel dat i can only choose one out of the two: feed my aged parents & dun have kid or have a kid & let aged parents fend for themselves.

 

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recently work went into some blunders and some serious probs occur, guess its gonna be more stressed for me now.

My salary is almost same as my hb, so need both person salary. Moreover, i need to feed my parents and younger sibling.

Now i feel so stressed that i wonder should i consider to find another job that is less stressful (but too late to change job now that ored preggy).

Hi Cokelight, as a mother, you needed to be emotionally prepared and strong to protect your love nest. Do not be taken back by minor events of such to de-motivate, demoralize your sprite. Take is easy, lesson learn and work like normal.

I know I will never be able to understand the turmoil..stress... labor pain... a woman going through. But as a man, husband, they should be as supportive as possible during the interim. He needed to be empathy especially when you are in your third trimester. Remember, try ways and means to pamper yourself. If you cannot find satisfaction in an area, do compensate it in another form. Example if you have the crave for durian in this period, ask your HB to hunt for it!

Ever heard of psychological effect of walking on a straight line and leave it higher by an inches in every tries and the phobia increase? So this is quite true. Every times new challenges introduces, the resistance or fear of it increase. But if you gone pass it, you will find yourself a better and stronger person.

Jia you :dancingqueen:

 

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The problem with the mindset of the employers in singapore is that, they tend to tink that it is that they can pick on the interviewees.. but they never consider that they also need to win over the interviewees.

To be frank, I have never take any feeling / gratitude towards an organization. This is a real fact and cruerity in life. If you are of value to an organization they will ....++++ else show you the boots or the front door to it. Aii.... no choice. :dancingqueen:

So come to think of it, the ones that will stay by your side till your hairs grey is your HB and the little ones that ties you currently. So why feel the work stress and channel it directly / indirectly to the love one?

People say 有情饮水饱 is bull s_h_i_t. We still need the bread but just enough is enough. Do hope you can do some planning with your HB and if possible forego some lifestyle if needed be.

Never quit in life or give up easily. Especially in work of such else give all your maternity benefits to your company.. Bo Hua.. tahan another few more months, go for maternity and show the company Boots after that.

( Amend a little bit so that it is more easy for you to read, else you complain giddy and want to vormit don't blame me hor... Just to cheer you up! :dunno: )

Edited by TPY
 

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cokelight u are preg? congrats! dun worry too much..take things slow one step at a time...i am sure things will workout fine for you..

Hi everyone,

this thread is quite back dated,but just want to share my views.

i chanced upon renotalk while doing my renovation early this year.thanks to this forum, my reno went on fine. i got married in august this year and slowly drifted from this website. but thru this website, i know of people like cokelight. though we never met before, but i always read abt ur reno tips and posts and just want to congraulate you here!

today, felt like revisiting this website and chanced upon this subject.

i am also having this problem of have or not to have. i guess, its not that every married couple need to have a baby, to complete the family. but due to sterotypes, traditions and society pressure, couples end up having a baby to complete the family.

but yet, i have seen young parents who got pregnant, and as a result gave up lifestyle for the child and its all just worth it. their faces show all.

to me, i guess its always a matter of readiness. there's always some sacrifices to be made. but end of the day, every parent always says that its worth every bit.

for now, i am coming 27. married for half a year. still want to enjoy for another year or so, build up finances, then plan for one.

 

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Piglet0481, i tink most of the newly-weds will face the same prob. Im married for more than 2.5yrs but i have zero urge for a kid. I duno when i will ever be ready but i noe die die i need to produce at least one. Whether we can afford a kid is one prob. How the kid can survive in sg in future is another concern. Sometimes, feel dat bringing them into this world, only means suffering for them, lol. But i guess we all live in this v traditional society where pro-creation is almost a must. Else its not like a 'real' family. And when we die, no-one to send us off, lol.

 

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Piglet0481, i tink most of the newly-weds will face the same prob. Im married for more than 2.5yrs but i have zero urge for a kid. I duno when i will ever be ready but i noe die die i need to produce at least one. Whether we can afford a kid is one prob. How the kid can survive in sg in future is another concern. Sometimes, feel dat bringing them into this world, only means suffering for them, lol. But i guess we all live in this v traditional society where pro-creation is almost a must. Else its not like a 'real' family. And when we die, no-one to send us off, lol.

Yes, we may have been hearing alot of why to have. Do we have any Not to have voices? Let us here from the other sides of the world too..

 

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