Ely1

Hi Lady R, yep - best to find something to smile about everyday. Like Bondi's box of toys yesterday. Or when days are really bad, I just go home and hug my dog. Sometimes the soft approach does work too, doesn't it? Now you've not only gotten your gorgeous home (with that unbelievable kitchen!) but a friend as well! That's quite amazing Yeah, footprint, I'm usually glass half empty but too much energy wasted so am just going to focus on the positives Today's smile worthy moment: I won that art piece! Booyah! - Ely

Thank you, joyous - haven't seen you for a bit! I don't think it needs to escalate to a complaint yet, I believe things can get back on track soon especially after The Husband has expressed his displeasure rather blatantly yesterday. My ID also doesn't try to find excuses for the long delays, and I respect him for that. I'm going to let my dad decide if he wants to engage my ID for the house, as he is fully aware of the problems we're facing, since I'm still living in his house! Hmm, here's what is going to be done: - Ely

Some really good advice there, but I don't want to seem mean by posting his name and firm here and ruining his otherwise quite stellar reputation on RT. In all fairness, he has tried (though not his best) to meet the deadlines but some things were simply out of his control. I hear him screaming and yelling at the sub-cons yet they still did not turn up - I'd like to think that I'm very fair in all my relationships with people and in this particular situation, I don't see how it's his fault if the sub-cons are uncompliant. Several other mistakes seem to be deliberately done too - for it doesn't appear like a seasoned carpenter to "forget" drilling holes for taps, or for granite top guys to completely cut out a hole for a tap, then got the plumber to cut off a portion of my sink!! when it should look like: I think what's most difficult for me is removing that personal connection because human relationships are most important to me. One of my biggest weakness is my objection to cruelty. I live so much to give pleasure to others that after a while I am confused myself as to whether I meet people for their sake or for my own pleasure. The truth is that there is vast sum of things I do not do for myself that it has become the dominant impulse. True identification with others and the desire to give is erroneously confused. Btw, I wasn't guildmistress because I had mad skillz, but because I was known for being a carebear and would run raid after raid after raid to help get everyone's toon their desired equipment/drops. I was merely well-liked because I helped so selflessly and was very lucky to have a loyal following who supported my carebear mentality. - ha, found my kobold from DAoC. And a really old post... I've learnt from previous experience not to wear shorts to the place now, or to be in any bendy pose (!) when the workers are around. The carpenters, plumbers etc are all okay, it was only the parquet ones that were creepy. I hid behind the couch so they couldn't see me. The over-protective Husband called the MCST to send a security guard over when the neighbours' contractors were hanging outside my door and chatting with me when I was alone cleaning the apartment. It simply isn't possible for The Husband to be there when he needs to be at work, or the ID to be always present as he has other projects to run. I'm lucky that I'm off work for the moment but my volunteer work has been shelved due to time constraint since a perpetual presence is needed in case things go missing again. Sadly, work would have to commence once the house is done - I'm just terribly grateful that I don't need to juggle work, house renovations, children, pets, volunteer work all at the same time, for I would surely have gone insane weeks ago. That is precisely why you're such a gem to RT. You don't force-feed people your opinions on what to buy - you take into consideration their usage, likes, budget etc and then advise accordingly with great sensitivity and information. That's EXACTLY what people searching for a HTS need, and you give so thoughtfully and selflessly with tips on how to save money, even generous enough to allow people to visit your home to view your set-up and have a better understanding of HTS or in my case, even offering to come down to help calibrate my system! Now, who's a carebear? Thank you for your beautiful post. It does help put things in perspective for me, especially when I find myself so drained nowadays. Jillian Michaels would kick my butt if she knew how I've been slacking off with working out and eating poorly, and excessively! When you come over, you can truly judge how very "special" it is - it's no real stand-out but it's simple and modern. And that works for me - Ely

Well, if he's left the company, he would have full reign of the sub-cons he wants to work with, so I anticipate it should be less problematic for him (or for my parents). Besides, my father would NOT take any minor error lightly so the ID would have to be very on the ball. I do think my ID is honest and alright to deal with, just that the coordination problems should have been better taken care of, and he has a bad habit of not "remembering" what was discussed. Sometimes I do not always follow up with an email (and this is my folly, given that I am aware of this trait) so it becomes a he said, she said situation. Perhaps he'll learn from this mistakes and become more effectual at project management. *glass half full* - Ely

The last time my parents' house was done up (about 10 yrs ago), they charged 40k for aircon... Total of 9 aircons I think? Ridiculous! There would probably be more in this reno phase, would let you know. - Ely

Hiya RMG, Even I don't smoke in my own house so it's weird that they have the audacity to do it in front of me, but never when the ID or The Husband is around. As mentioned in earlier post, only time I did put my foot down was when the smoking was actually hazardous. Thinner and Xylene in a tight bathroom with lit cigarettes. Not too bright. I understand where you, and the many others, who have suggested the involvement of The Husband, are coming from, but I'm presently playing the middle-(wo)man for a reason. The Husband is seriously agitated (and he has every right to be) and the ID is so profusely apologetic and accommodating and I just don't want either of them to feel any more worse. I deal with the house now so The Husband gets a break from being frustrated, and the ID gets a break from the passive-aggressive husband who earlier just told him, albeit calmly, "Don't let it come to a time when I have to scream and yell at you - it's going to be very ugly". I know The Husband is only protecting our interests yet I couldn't help but feel bad for the ID when he was "chastised". Hmm, it is true that the ID wants my parents' project because he mentioned how bored and uninspired he is of doing a whole chain of government flats and condos. If I were less naive, I'd think it's more about the 6-7-figure sum. I know this is my leverage but I'd hate to be so manipulative though logically, it's only fair that he eventually does not get the job because of his inability to meet deadlines. He has, however, assured my parents that this won't happen now that he has his own team of contractors, all of which meet or exceed his stringent standards. I checked the project schedule more carefully and realised that 30 April was inclusive of the 2 week buffer. We were told 6 - 8 weeks, hence the 2 weeks buffer time. We've not been given the final bill yet so I really don't want to go over his head at this time either. I would have no qualms taking it up with his upper management if we're made to pay for his mistakes, though I don't know how effective that would be, since he has already officially left the firm and is merely finishing his projects with them. It could the underlying reason why ours is more "problematic" than his other projects since naturally, he would concentrate more on his own company's projects instead of a disgruntled ex-firm's. Oh, it's much easier to laugh things off than to expend all that energy in being angry. It's too tiring a state to sustain, but so is stuffing face. Someone call Greenpeace pls! - Ely

Thank you Kobelala. Will meditate for I'm sure all that binge eating sure can use some yoga and pilates. Feel like a whale at the moment. Hey Lady R, So kind of you to be so comforting. I don't know if I can call my ID everyday - I'd feel like I'm bothering him and be an irritant? I don't want to be one of those difficult clients >< I think my biggest problem is that I fear to be not nice. I don't want to come across as mean or demanding or annoying. However, your daily program request does sound very reasonable and takes the edge out of meanness, because it sounds more like a "hey, what are you up to today?" conversation you'd have with a friend. Perhaps I'll try that, good one Lady R! I'm really not THAT nice a person (how The Husband would scoff if he reads this), just that I get intimidated when the tradespeople use their expertise (or in this case, over-exaggerated concerns) to bully me into acquiescence. Imagine if you'd have to re-hack the whole vanity, sink, granite top, tap, tiles in order to simply remove a pipe - it just doesn't sound like it's worth the effort? Yet common sense in me persisted because I couldn't see the logic in that, which made me tell them curtly "I'm calling the ID". They came today to rectify the mistake and it took 1.5hrs.../boggle The ID spoke to me this evening and said that he would deal with all the workers from now on, and that I only need to tell them what I want them to do, and for them to call him should they protest, so that's very reassuring. I hate being bullied or seen as the ditzy chick they can pull a fast one with. Thank you boyblunder for your empathetic concern. The doormat mentality comes from poor self-esteem I suppose. /shrug It explains why the online persona is larger than myself. People really do call me Ely in real life, you know (Even my brothers call me Ely~) I certainly hope so too, and once everything is nicely done up, everyone's invited! - Ely

Beautiful piece! Remember to follow his advice about lighting, or else the movement would be diminished. I wanted that as well but it was too wide for my beam Makes me feel better that I wasn't counter-bidding you Do post some pics of your reno and if you're too busy to start a t-blog, I don't mind you hijacking my thread at all! Would love to see how that clock looks in your home. We'll love to have you over. I'm glad your renovation process is much less of a hassle than mine - lucky you to have your best friend having your back! Sometimes business mixed with friendships can be tricky but it sounds like yours is a resounding success! Congrats, and I hope it continues to go smoothly for you. - Ely

Thank you Adidaem The Husband can attest that I'm no saint, one of the most common things he ask me is "why are you so irritated?!" ! I guess RB is right - familiarity does breed contempt haha! The only time I said something about the smoking was when I caught them smoking while using kerosene to clean... I think my biggest pet peeve that sets off the irascibility is stupidity. Received a parcel from Australia today while I was at the house, containing all of Bondi's toys I'd bought him when he was younger. THAT really cheered me up, cleaning all his toys and vacuuming each one individually (oh curse the Virgo!!) and putting it in his toy box, which now claims a spot underneath the TV console. Not the most aesthetically-pleasing, but it's the most practical and I don't mind that clutter one bit. - Ely

Ooh, how did I miss this post? What a generous offer, Justin, but we can't accept. Thank you sooo very much though. It's so heartwarming when virtual strangers are so giving - it sometimes beats being in the real world. The 3D glasses are definitely gone - they left the empty box and warranty card in the drawer as evidence ! Now I just need to turn CSI and dust for fingerprints... Not so bad though, the ID is a nice enough guy and will deduct the price of it from the final bill. He claims responsibility for any and every item we've placed in the house - he even replaced my dustpan when I told him it was missing! *warm fuzzies* - Ely

Well, you're the Deh Queen - that has got to be a lot more special since it requires mad skillz! And hello, you have the largest island, the biggest WIW and 2 king beds! How can that be cookie-cutter?! /smack Um, no pretty to look at here. Seriously. I think it's only because I'm female - it beats looking at the carpenter or granite guy? - Ely

Some of the guys are really nice and hardworking though, so when they smoke, I just let them. I feel they're working so hard already and if they need a smoke, I should be understanding. Now I place ashtrays in the balcony and outside the house as a hint to indicate designated smoking areas haha! Dunno how to enforce a deadline because we did - it was 14 May. We literally moved our stuff in, but it hasn't made a difference. I currently estimate the most feasible date as first week of June. Actually, I've never heard of renos that are ease-free ! Thought this was a common occurence. - Ely

Hey RMG, Thank you for your kind words. Really nice to hear how people are sympathetic and it makes me feel less isolated in my frustration and helplessness. The ID is simply one in larger, popular firm on RT. I believe the company uses the same contractors, and the ID mentioned that this is the reason why he's leaving the company. Simply because he doesn't believe in working with certain sub-cons that the company exclusively use. Would feel like I'm betraying my ID should I try to go speak to someone higher in the chain. He has been nice to us so far, but I could just be a softie and he's exploiting that. You're right though - apologies without a forward plan isn't enough. I'll try to be more assertive and demand a firm date. When I'm speaking on the phone with The Husband and giving him updates, and I ask to let him speak to the ID direct, the ID goes through the whole "nononono" waving hands motion. The ID doesn't dare to deal with The Husband anymore so it's just me. Am glad you enjoyed my silly posts and pics - never imagined anyone would be interested in pics of throw rugs ! Now I'm a little worried as the ID is most likely going to do my parents' A&A project and I would hate to see my parents go through the same thing. My father is ex-military and can be extremely difficult to deal with, if there's such hiccups! Oh man, I cannot imagine how my father would react. /gloves off - Ely

Thanks for everything RB. Yeah, same thoughts - Need more hard disks!! Thanks to you, we saved quite a bit on the cables - these $30/4 work great, along with the 3 free HDMI cables that came with the TVs and AC Ryan. We already specified a date for moving. We had a lorry arranged to move all our crap! We've moved quite a substantial stuff already - even The Husband's clothes are in the wardrobes but we realise we need to stop putting stuff in the house due to things going missing, and more exposed stuff means more to clean. There is always some form of plastering, sealing, drilling done and the cleaning is endless! I'm just going to keep a hawk's eye when they do touch up painting - Don't want my ceiling mounted speakers marred!! I actually appreciate brutal honesty so it's no reflection on you I do enjoy your insightful input, and I believe many RT-ers have gained so much knowledge and guidance from someone so well-versed in the area of HTS, and being open about your opinions, even going the extra mile by providing links to unbiased reviews and such. You've always been so considerate in your comments (except to f******nuts - but that troll is simply annoying and I'm certain many are glad you're ballsy enough to repudiate his ridiculous remarks, or else we would all be buying hugely expensive anti-Brit systems with $200 cables). You're a joy to have around, and I'm sure you can teach me more than a thing or two about our system, and definitely about not having to change settings with every song/movie! I hear you about the ID. Somehow I really don't feel it's *all* his fault? The Husband thinks differently and is getting too irked by his lack of coordination and communication problems with the different sub-cons. Everyone blames someone else so I don't know where things go wrong. Thanks for the encouragement - it REALLY is not special! Perhaps the problems have dampened my enthusiasm for the home, but the more I look at it, the more cookie-cutter it seems. It's so... normal, and there's no false modesty here! (Afterall, no Queen is humble) - Ely

Thanks sleek /reaches for another beer Not sure May Dream. Small mistakes keep piling up, and delays escalate to some insane rubberband timeline. I ask myself why everyday too Even my ID mentioned that this is one of his most troublesome projects. Can't lock anything in - Common bedroom has access because no doors to bathroom. Work still needs to be done in the Master. Storeroom too small. Also, was asked to leave specific bathroom items in each respective bathroom so the plumbers would know which fittings for which bath, but things still got missing somehow. Probably threw away by mistake. Flush button of WC was missing, shower arm bracket missing, rainshower arm wrong, shelf broken, hole not drilled for tap, and on and on it goes. Thanks Patsy. I hope so too Aww, definitely needed that hug. Don't be silly about your DVD player! I was also contemplating getting one for the bedroom but decided we'll get more use from my existing WD media player. Everyone has their own interests - for us, we like tech stuff. I agree with you though - nice to go for movie nights without the kids. We're so boring (and cheapskate) and simply download stuff ! I only started buying and collecting blu-rays DVDs after we got our player, and it has probably exceeded 6 months' worth of movie tickets!! Perhaps I need to be more proactive? My reaction is always a huge heaving of shoulders then a pitiful squeak of "okay...". I definitely don't "chase" my ID, or call every day, much lest every hour. Because I'm female, I think the contractors hate working with me, thinking I don't understand certain things etc. They often sound irritated or tell me stuff like "Talk is easy, Mam, but it's not so easy to do! You think so easy?? You say, say, say but you don't know how we need to do it!" etc. I'd simply say "I'm calling the ID" and walk out, and leave them to deal with the ID because it's obvious they won't listen to me. After a phonecall with the ID, they say it can be done and explain to me how it'd look like. Some of the previous contractors also made me uneasy as they stare at me longer than socially polite periods, so I tend to retreat to the balcony. I could also be "too nice" - buying them lunch, drinks, or providing ashtrays even after we told them no more smoking in the house (since the furniture is in). They walk around with their cigarettes so I just follow them with an ashtray... or pick up their butts from the floor and just throw them away without saying anything. Doormat much? - Ely

Oh, how I look at the spectacle of the renovation process and laugh to myself sardonically. It's going to be more than a week - it's so **** ridiculous that it's funny. /rant on Now, the ENTIRE kitchen granite top needs to be removed and refitted. Both WCs are now removed and tiles in bathroom hacked and retiled again (no idea why they ran pipes all over for the bidet spray and I insisted that there was no need for that - indeed there wasn't, perhaps they felt extra long visible piping looks cool but unfortunately for them, I do not agree). Poh Joo gave the wrong arm for the oversized rainshower so need to be replaced and redone. Not gaining any popularity with the plumbers at all. When I told them to check for the max water level and open valve, they insisted they've done their job and I should call the retailer to fix it, not them. Mirrored cabinet vanity got installed without the cabinet. Kitchen island laminates chipped, dented, broken off due to moving so laminates may need to be replaced. Common bathroom doors not done yet (wow, I've just one-upped May Dream with NO doors!). Now, I seriously have no idea when I can move in, if at all. Maybe I'll get lucky and move in next Christmas. Or something. Now in total 'sian' zone. I can't clean or unpack or do anything, except to arrive at the house to open the door for whoever's coming (and usually waiting 3hrs before they actually turn up). We no longer leave the back door key as too many things have been "misplaced"/accidentally thrown away/gone missing/stolen. No more pretty pics for you guys as we mourn the absurdity of my situation. /rant off Ooh, did I mention it's now Day 86?! Just looked at the project schedule and the handover was supposed to be 30 April. I cannot believe my luck! Even my ID is so stressed about how things are turning out so wrong and is so apologetic about everything. Whenever we go through the new problems, I simply reach into the new fridge and get a beer. On Saturday there were 24 cans, today's count was 9. Oooh, time to go stuff face. - Ely

Aye, I agree RB. These real audiophiles have much higher expectations of their systems and would find something rather sufficient for us as simply intolerable to them. So far, I don't want to get into that stage, ever. I know if I'm obsessed about something, I'd find means to get them so no more poisoning (though would kill for projector~). I used to dream about gaming on a 100" screen and my tiny kobold avatar would be like 1m high on the screen - RAWR! Can't wait to try the WoW hack on X-Box Kinect - omfg imagine really roleplaying all the spell moves ! Uber cool! Keke, that's how geeky I am~ If yours is only entry- to mid-level, I don't know what mine is, or how soundbars would be classified. There's a lot of tuning to do when watching movies and switching to music so I need to get the hang of that and learn what's the best setting for everything. I bought HD Basics as advised and also use Stars Wars THX to help with the calibration. Revenge is sweet! Now Cocker upstairs is competing with my next door's moggie. I simply turned on Avatar loudly. I'd hate to always be scolding Maxey (or God forbid, spanking that little cute bottom) if he naturally joins in the howling match. Well, when you come over, let's see your (brutally) honest take on our system. I find that it's simply OK. Not particularly mind-blowing but it does beat chocolate ice cream in my books. - Ely

I have absolutely no inkling why. Can anyone enlighten me? - Ely

Oh no, my reputation precedes me. It's not all that accurate really - I think reglxt is a more avid shopper than I but it's been a while seen I've her here so I'm only borrowing the title by proxy. Have fun with eBay - it can be very rewarding when you know you've gotten yourself a good deal! Let me know if you need any help navigating eBay, I'll be more than happy to add another member to the OSA (Online Shoppers Annoymous) support group. - Ely

The metal art pieces are from eBay the 3 canvases were from Bali when we took a post-ROM-honeymoon without having any idea how our home would be - we didn't even start looking for IDs yet - just bought them then decided where to hang. Rest sourced from the Internet I also get handmade items from etsy.com like vintage birdcages, solar lamps etc. You know there's a reason why the RT-ers joke about me being the Online Shopping Queen, yes? - Ely

One thing I've learnt is that money cannot buy taste Also, beauty is so subjective - there is a darling charm about eclectic apartments, a sophisticated feel about a warehouse loft, the homeliness of a country cottage, the sleekness of a minimalistic home, the relaxed atmosphere about a resort villa, an individuality with industrial bareness, the luxury of opulent grandeur. All very different types of homes but super gorgeous in their own way. It's what the home owners put into it that gives it that special feel even the best hotels cannot emulate. No lah, not super fantastic. Just wanted a piece different from being all silver, since the couch is no longer going to be grey. I'll find another spot for the existing piece because too troublesome to list on eBay and sell~ A lot of my stuff is also DIY - buy something simple, add a few touches. That 100k is inclusive of complete overhaul renovation works though - I'm certain many have exceeded that. My spreadsheet even includes cordless kettles, to cushion covers and candle holders so I'm really calculating everything! When you come, you can see for yourself - it's nothing extraordinary. Just very "me" A lot of regretful purchases too - my LED infinity mirror has WHITE lights though it was photographed to be yellow and cosy, so it doesn't blend well like I wanted it to. That's the problem with buying online and having too many ideas in the head. The eager beaver in me already purchased 6 new cushion covers for the couch (will interchange with cushions for the bedroom when we change sheets) so it goes to show how badly impulsive I can be. A normal person would wait for the couch and contemplate thoughtfully what cushions would look best with it, but I hate "waiting" for perfection that I simply go mouse-crazy and then later on, want to hit myself with a spatula for being so stupid. - Ely

Oh wow, That's fantastic! Really, really nice and kitschy! Not sure where it could go in my home though. Already a smorgasbord of colourful Bali girls, omnious elephant, metal art, Zen monk, pop art Chihuahua, Hollywood legend Audrey Hepburn, hand-drawn canvas... Here's the one with Maxey: Thanks for the intro, will definitely look into it and FIND a spot for John Wassenaar. - Ely

Yes, very stressful. I slept the ENTIRE day today. Super, super tired. Was it the super plush pillowtop that won you over? My next choice was the Serta but too lazy to go to Marina Square haha so just bought Dunlopillo. Their delivery is a nightmare though. Waited 12hrs for them~ Now when I lie on it, it doesn't seem as plush and felt I should have gone with the Serta but oh well. Maybe it was the plastic wrap... - Ely

Hi Caraval, It's been a while! Glad to know you're still lurking about Which piece of Jon Allen's did you get? His work is pretty amazing! Come over in June, I say. Will be nice to meet like-minded people - Ely

Hi RMG, Thanks for letting me know, I'll check tomorrow - who knows what else the plumbers have gotten wrong (they're already made 4 trips to the house to rectify mistakes, another one tomorrow!!). Sorry to hijack your thread, Kobelala! - Ely