CarolWilks 0 Report post Posted December 22, 2025 Hi all, New here, but not new to poly/ENM. I've been dating non-monogamously for 7 years and am currently in a 3.5 year primary relationship. My question is how to navigate his much lower sex drive with me-- now that we live together, his drive to have sex with new people has not abated in the least. I very much desire sex with my primary, and feel connected through that, and also like having sex with others. It has gotten to the point that he cannot finish with me, but will finish with new people. That has been and is very painful for me to hold. Yes, we've tried sex therapy, I'm in therapy myself. Addiction is also a part of his story, so there's that factor. I am his longest relationship in 15 years, and our sex life at the beginning was very hot and kinky, but then began to abate about 1 year in, which normal, NRE worn off. But maintaining sexual connection is very important to me, and doesn't feel as important to him, because he'd rather be with new people than me. But he loves me. It's so confusing. Has anyone else struggled with this as the partner, or even someone who has this experience? I want to understand, and am trying to figure out if I can stay in this relationship with this sexual piece being such a intense struggle. Thanks so much! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SherlynPadilla 0 Report post Posted December 22, 2025 Totally get where you're coming from—balancing different needs across partners can be tricky. One thing that helped me was being open about fantasies and interests, even the quirky ones. Watching things like phim sex hentai on my own helped me figure out what I liked without pressure, and then I could talk about it more easily. It’s made communicating with my partners way smoother and more honest. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
