How To Be Guardian?

[Air 0]

Hi, I urgently need help on this.

Anyone has any idea on how to apply to be a guardian for a child?

What are the procedures and which govt department is in charge of this?

Edited November 30, 2007 by Air

[yoongf 11]

What kind of child are u refering to?

[Air 0]

What kind of child are u refering to?

It's a cousin actually...his mum and dad unable to provide for him. I'm thinking of applying to be his guardian. He will be in primary 4 next year. I'm wondering if it's possible. Would appreciate your advice!!

Edited November 30, 2007 by Air

[yoongf 11]

It's a cousin actually...his mum and dad unable to provide for him. I'm thinking of applying to be his guardian. He will be in primary 4 next year. I'm wondering if it's possible. Would appreciate your advice!!

Got many types of guardian.. those family related kind is under MCYS, while those guardian for foreign students is under MOE.

http://www.mcys.gov.sg/MCDSFiles/Resource/...ster_Parent.pdf

Actually.. just because parents unable to provide for a child is no basis for others to look after. If the parents object.. then even more no case. Quite a lot of legal issues, of parental visit rights etc.

Simple process would be just do unofficially lor.

[Air 0]

Got many types of guardian.. those family related kind is under MCYS, while those guardian for foreign students is under MOE.

http://www.mcys.gov.sg/MCDSFiles/Resource/...ster_Parent.pdf

Actually.. just because parents unable to provide for a child is no basis for others to look after. If the parents object.. then even more no case. Quite a lot of legal issues, of parental visit rights etc.

Simple process would be just do unofficially lor.

Ya I understand that...but this family a bit problematic....mother doesn't dote on kid and doesn't seem to want to take care of her child...kp abusing her child and denied him food and drink...end up my grandma took care of his daily needs....father went abroad supposedly to do business but ended up having a wife and kids there and seldom came back to singapore...my cousin very poor thing, v smart kid...very sad to see him end up in a family like that...can't bear to see his education suffer as a result...I was thinking since his parents don't want to take care of him, I will take care of him...I guess would be a troublesome process so wondering if can do it officially just in case his parents one day divorced and want to claim custody, none of them would be able to get him if guardian objects. I can't bear to see him end up with either one of them...

Edited November 30, 2007 by Air

[Air 0]

Got another question....is fostering different from being a guardian?

To be a guardian of a child, do we need to apply officially?

[yoongf 11]

First of all.. I am not a lawyer hor..

but I think "gardian" is a genetic term with no legal meaning. There is only 3 legal terms of "legal guardian", "foster" and "adoption".

Since yr intention is to legally own the child, and deprive the paternal parents of future rights, then.. u are talking about "adoption".

http://www.law.com.sg/family.htm#Adoption_Application

Now.. based on what u have described, u do not have any legal basis at all to adopt. Firstly.. if u observe child neglect, then is to report to MCYS who will investigate. Likely they will give the father and mother many chances to do good. Even if both parents fail to make good, it wll fall to the grandparents or relatives to look after, but "legal title" don't leave the paternal parents.

If u really want to know your odds.. then see what the parents feel about giving up "legal title" to the child. If parents no hue.. then contact a family lawyer to start the adoption process. Many emotions involved, here, so be prepared for all outcomes. For sure.. u and this relative of yours will not be on good terms anymore. Imagine.. if someone come up to u and accuse u of child neglect.. how would u feel.

[Air 0]

First of all.. I am not a lawyer hor..

but I think "gardian" is a genetic term with no legal meaning. There is only 3 legal terms of "legal guardian", "foster" and "adoption".

Since yr intention is to legally own the child, and deprive the paternal parents of future rights, then.. u are talking about "adoption".

http://www.law.com.sg/family.htm#Adoption_Application

Now.. based on what u have described, u do not have any legal basis at all to adopt. Firstly.. if u observe child neglect, then is to report to MCYS who will investigate. Likely they will give the father and mother many chances to do good. Even if both parents fail to make good, it wll fall to the grandparents or relatives to look after, but "legal title" don't leave the paternal parents.

If u really want to know your odds.. then see what the parents feel about giving up "legal title" to the child. If parents no hue.. then contact a family lawyer to start the adoption process. Many emotions involved, here, so be prepared for all outcomes. For sure.. u and this relative of yours will not be on good terms anymore. Imagine.. if someone come up to u and accuse u of child neglect.. how would u feel.

Ya I understand that if I were to do that, I can forget abt maintaining good terms (if any) with my auntie. I'm only very sorry for my cousin. I suspect his mum had abit of mental illness caused by eating too much slimming pills. My cousin's now living with my grandma and the responsibility of taking care of him now falls entirely on my grandma. His mum had never given any money to my grandma despite having to take care of my cousin's needs. I'm just sad to see him living under such conditions. Haiz...

His mum had now left home and I hv already told my grandma that if my cousin faced any problem at school or in need of money for school, she must inform me. , at least I can do whatever I can to help him. I hope he won't be too traumatised with what's happening to his family.

Thanks yoongf

[Cantona7 0]

Ya I understand that if I were to do that, I can forget abt maintaining good terms (if any) with my auntie. I'm only very sorry for my cousin. I suspect his mum had abit of mental illness caused by eating too much slimming pills. My cousin's now living with my grandma and the responsibility of taking care of him now falls entirely on my grandma. His mum had never given any money to my grandma despite having to take care of my cousin's needs. I'm just sad to see him living under such conditions. Haiz...

His mum had now left home and I hv already told my grandma that if my cousin faced any problem at school or in need of money for school, she must inform me. , at least I can do whatever I can to help him. I hope he won't be too traumatised with what's happening to his family.

Thanks yoongf

Hi Air

It really take a great courage & responsibilty to take care of ur cousin but bear in mind is a long term commitment both of u must continue to take care of him even if u have kids in future cos it will hurt his feeling even more.

I heard one real life incident this lady went to do charity job in orphan hse. So she voluntary to take care of this poor little girl whose her mother left her since young.

They become very closed and almost every alternate day this lady will come by and look after her. One fine day tis lady don appear and that little girl will wait outside for her almost everyday and refuse to talk to anyone. So the staffs got no choice but to called her mobile after she didnt turn out for a few weeks, then they realised that nw she is married and they are planning to have their own child she wont have so much time to come down and send her regard to that little girl.

This lady didnt realised that she infact hurt tis poor little girl feeling SECOND time for deserting her.

I knw tis is personal affair I am jus to share my view with you it really take great responsibilty to take care other ppls kids some more ur other partner must be understanding too.

[Air 0]

Hi Air

It really take a great courage & responsibilty to take care of ur cousin but bear in mind is a long term commitment both of u must continue to take care of him even if u have kids in future cos it will hurt his feeling even more.

I heard one real life incident this lady went to do charity job in orphan hse. So she voluntary to take care of this poor little girl whose her mother left her since young.

They become very closed and almost every alternate day this lady will come by and look after her. One fine day tis lady don appear and that little girl will wait outside for her almost everyday and refuse to talk to anyone. So the staffs got no choice but to called her mobile after she didnt turn out for a few weeks, then they realised that nw she is married and they are planning to have their own child she wont have so much time to come down and send her regard to that little girl.

This lady didnt realised that she infact hurt tis poor little girl feeling SECOND time for deserting her.

I knw tis is personal affair I am jus to share my view with you it really take great responsibilty to take care other ppls kids some more ur other partner must be understanding too.

Ya I understand that too...to me, a child's heart is very vulnerable, I never gave empty promises to a kid. If I promise something, I made sure I kept my word, otherwise I won't promise anything. I already discussed with my hubby and he's supportive of me taking over the responsibility to look after my cousin too. It hurts me to see a child growing up in such an environment, especially so when he's so close to me.

To me, a child is a heavy responsibility. Aside from providing him the material needs, the emotional needs are of utmost importance too. I do not understand how come some ppl can give birth to a child and then refuse him the right to have a happy childhood. To me, if you don't understand what having a kid entails, then don't give birth. It's very irresponsible to just enjoy the baby making process then forsaking the child when he's born. Children are always innocent. They didn't choose to come to this world. They also didn't choose to be with the kind of family they're in. It just pains me to see children growing up in a such an environment. It's always very traumatising to the kid.

Right now, I'm just waiting to see if his mum will come back. I've a bad feeling that something's going to happen. I just cross my fingers. To me, she's just an irresponsible "mother", if she ever has been one. She had 3 kids but haven't bothered to look after them. She just enjoys the baby making process. A 40 year-old woman with the mindset of a 14 year-old teenager. I just feel so sad for my cousin and so angry with his so-called mum.

I've told my cousin that he ever faces any problem at school, he must come to me. The least I can do right now is to let him feel that there's someone who still cares abt him despite the heartless departure of his mum. I don't want him to feel so traumatised by the incident that it leaves a scar in his memory. He doesn't deserve that. In fact, no kid should ever deserve that. Unfortunately.....

Sorry for the long post...I just hv to get it out of my system. My mind has been filled with this incident for the past week. Everyday my heart just grows heavier and heavier for my cousin...

Edited December 3, 2007 by Air

[applefreak 1]

Air, I take my hats off you

you deserve my highest repect !!

not everyone is willing to take on the 'burden' of caring for a child, and that's their own child

and you are willing to go this far for your cousin

personally, i think your cousin is really lucky to have you

guess all you can do is just be there for him, be it material or psychological needs

jia you jia you, we all here support you

[Cantona7 0]

Don Worry at least ur cousin still have u by his side right.

Edited December 3, 2007 by Cantona7

[Air 0]

Air, I take my hats off you

you deserve my highest repect !!

not everyone is willing to take on the 'burden' of caring for a child, and that's their own child

and you are willing to go this far for your cousin

personally, i think your cousin is really lucky to have you

guess all you can do is just be there for him, be it material or psychological needs

jia you jia you, we all here support you

Yes, I promised myself to be there for him either financially or emotionally. I've helped taking care of him since he was a baby and I dote on him alot. It would be sad to see him grow up as a wayward kid because of such an incident. My hubby and I had intially wanted 2 kids of our own. Because of this incident, I told my hubby that if it comes to a point that the responsibility of my cousin falls entirely on my shoulders, I'm willing to just have one kid of our own. He understands that too and I'm grateful for his understanding.

Right now, I'm adopting a wait-and-see attitude first. I hope his mum will wake up her idea and come back.

Thanks for the support Even as I'm typing this, I feel like crying too...

Edited December 3, 2007 by Air

[Cantona7 0]

Yes, I promised myself to be there for him either financially or emotionally. I've helped taking care of him since he was a baby and I dote on him alot. It would be sad to see him grow up as a wayward kid because of such an incident. My hubby and I had intially wanted 2 kids of our own. Because of this incident, I told my hubby that if it comes to a point that the responsibility of my cousin falls entirely on my shoulders, I'm willing to just have one kid of our own. He understands that too and I'm grateful for his understanding.

Right now, I'm adopting a wait-and-see attitude first. I hope his mum will wake up her idea and come back.

Thanks for the support Even as I'm typing this, I feel like crying too...

Yes u are right nw is a critical stage for a growing child, this will build up his character and inside feeling toward other. He really need proper guideance and family love.