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cheesecake

Wedding Dinners On Weekdays

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i guess we'll do the tea ceremony together with the AD (same day). my hb feels that BIG DAY (wedding) only has 1 day and where got 2 days. so he doesnt want to do tea ceremony and AD on different day. :wub:

 

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Hi Fifi, grateful for ur inputs as well...Yes, was indeed real sad when i heard dat actually. My ex-colleagues assured me dat whether weekday or weekend, they will help out, it doesnt matter at all. Now, these 2 frens are telling me to go ahead with watever i wan cos its my day & they r only jiemeis, juz dat they will have to make special arrangments. Dun feel good reali.....becos they give me the feeling dat im troublesome..

wat abt getting other gals to be ur jiemeis?

i can understand u... coz i oso kena tekan by my fren... asked 2 gals to be my jiemeis. 1 said she doesnt like to. it's ok. coz she told me upfront. the other kept finding excuses... saying she's afraid of my dog (a small maltese) and even though i said i will play pen my dog, she tried to find other excuses...

then she volunteered her hubby and herself as my emcee. last min told me the hubby dun wan. :)

i know the hubby too and i know he doesnt like to be emcee. but she kept assuring me he will be ok. ended up last min i have to go find emcee. :P

Wow, give ur mum 6 tables! Dats alot...im giving pin jin to my mum so i tink no need to give tables *gulp*

hubby oso gave my mum pin jin. but the pin jin $ comes from my MIL :P

PIL gave us 10 tables too. but coz my parents never invite their relatives so ended up most of the tables i took. else our ballroom sure not big enuff to hold. *hengz*

anyway, in the end, we returned the $ for the 10 tables back to PIL. :)

Can i ask hor, those angbaos from tea ceremony isit for dinner as well? Cos my mum say shld record down how much they give so next time can return the favour....

we oso got note down the amt of ang baos during dinner and tea ceremony. coz parents wanna know oso mah... i realised my frens bao the same amt back to me too :P

tea ceremony is tea ceremony. dinner shd be separate loh. but there will be some ppl who gave a big amt for tea ceremony and they included for the dinner as well. so there's no hard and fix rule for that actually :)

cheesecake, if ur side not many relatives present, then u ask ur jie mei to follow u to hubby's side for tea ceremony and lunch. u can order some light snacks over at ur side. no need for buffet. it depends on how many ppl will be present there.

coz for me, my parents did not ask relatives over. so there only got less than 10 persons. wat we did was the jie meis and xiong dis all follow to hubby's side and have lunch there (hubby ordered buffet coz MIL invited her frens and neighbours, those not going for the dinner). at my side, i ordered pizzas and side orders for my parents and my sis's BIL+wife+auntie. the jie meis and xiong dis went over to my side and had some of the finger food too...

dun fret too much. things will work out eventually! :)

 

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eh dina...u mean u serve tea to them during the banquet ah? or did the hotel give u another function room to have a tea ceremony?

Hi karen, yes I serve them tea during the banquet. We didn;t go to another function room because it would be too troublesome. And we didn't do before the banquet because all of us were very busy entertaining the guests so during photo taking was the best time. :dunno:

Wow, give ur mum 6 tables! Dats alot...im giving pin jin to my mum so i tink no need to give tables *gulp*

Yes, dats wat my ex-colleagues told me too. Juz invite relatives & close frens & everything shld be rite...

Can i ask hor, those angbaos from tea ceremony isit for dinner as well? Cos my mum say shld record down how much they give so next time can return the favour....

Actually ok lah... My hubby gave "pin jin" as well... but not alot because gave 6 tables aready... The ang baos during tea ceremony is for us, the relatives will give another one for my mum during dinner so my mum will record hers but I record my friends ones... All my close friends gave quite abit for us, so pai sei... BUTTTT majority of them not married yet!! :jawdrop:

 

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All my close friends gave quite abit for us, so pai sei... BUTTTT majority of them not married yet!! :deal:

wah.... kekeke... hopefully they will spread out their wedding dates else will be quite siong :deal:

my hubby's frens gave a quite a lot to us too and most are already married. though we din give that same amt to them... soo paiseh... 1 of his fren even gave us $500 (for 2 pax):jawdrop: but well... he's a dentist mah :dunno:

 

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I think this is what chinese called 'Yi Shang Wang Lai' ???

But all along, we give $100 per pax to frens, cant be they also give $100 per pax too cos mine is restaurant? But i guess it's lidat cos if i have my wedding first & they give $100, i will give back $100 no matter where they hold it....when it comes to close frens, i tink location is not a consideration at all...at least for me...

table.. u need to ask ur mother.. don't assume.. elder don't like..

tea ceremony ang bo is for u to keep

dinner ang bo, relative only give to ur parent, not u. Only ur married cousin give to u.

Note: relative ang mo, parent has the right to keep as they say, they need to keep and return favour when they turn come (mean their kid marry).

But But.. some parent give it to the kid but some don't.

If happen ur parent don't give. Don't fight with them hor.. :dancingqueen:

Ask already...she's only interested in the ping jin if its given by my hubby's mum, else she feels its of no point. Dats y ping jin amt, i decide also cos it comes from me...if come from hubby's mum, woah, duno how much she will ask man....

my mother side, i had 6 auntie and uncle exclude their other-half and their kid

my father side, i think i had 9 auntie + 2 uncles exclude their other-half and their kid.

U see.. 10 table.. enough meh.. :dancingqueen:

my husband almost want to cry leh.. that time..

his side.. 3 table more than enough

:sport-smiley-018:

Wow, ur hubby's situation same as me..i only having one table frens, two tables relatives...but one table of relatives may not turn up dat kind...bobian gota invite cos ah-ma say if invite one, must invite all, i cannot choose. My hubby's side haven count frens already 14 tables...

wat abt getting other gals to be ur jiemeis?

i can understand u... coz i oso kena tekan by my fren... asked 2 gals to be my jiemeis. 1 said she doesnt like to. it's ok. coz she told me upfront. the other kept finding excuses... saying she's afraid of my dog (a small maltese) and even though i said i will play pen my dog, she tried to find other excuses...

then she volunteered her hubby and herself as my emcee. last min told me the hubby dun wan. :dancingqueen:

i know the hubby too and i know he doesnt like to be emcee. but she kept assuring me he will be ok. ended up last min i have to go find emcee. !!

hubby oso gave my mum pin jin. but the pin jin $ comes from my MIL :dancingqueen:

PIL gave us 10 tables too. but coz my parents never invite their relatives so ended up most of the tables i took. else our ballroom sure not big enuff to hold. *hengz*

anyway, in the end, we returned the $ for the 10 tables back to PIL. :dancingqueen:

we oso got note down the amt of ang baos during dinner and tea ceremony. coz parents wanna know oso mah... i realised my frens bao the same amt back to me too :dancingqueen:

tea ceremony is tea ceremony. dinner shd be separate loh. but there will be some ppl who gave a big amt for tea ceremony and they included for the dinner as well. so there's no hard and fix rule for that actually !!

cheesecake, if ur side not many relatives present, then u ask ur jie mei to follow u to hubby's side for tea ceremony and lunch. u can order some light snacks over at ur side. no need for buffet. it depends on how many ppl will be present there.

coz for me, my parents did not ask relatives over. so there only got less than 10 persons. wat we did was the jie meis and xiong dis all follow to hubby's side and have lunch there (hubby ordered buffet coz MIL invited her frens and neighbours, those not going for the dinner). at my side, i ordered pizzas and side orders for my parents and my sis's BIL+wife+auntie. the jie meis and xiong dis went over to my side and had some of the finger food too...

dun fret too much. things will work out eventually! !!

Fifi, im sure the things dat happened must have affected ur frenship with them rite? For me, i avoid telling them my dinner plans already cos im afraid to hear more hurtful stuff from them...My ex-colleagues offered to help me out but only one is unmarried. They say married liao cannot be jiemei else not good for the bride (which i dun believe cos if i get married late then i cannt have jiemei liao??) so they say they will call themselves as maids of honour, lol.

My hubby's side will have 20plus ppl for the tea ceremony...so i cfm will cater buffet. For my side, less than 10 ppl including my parents & ah-ma...Pizza is a good idea! Yup yup, dats y i will want my helpers to follow me to go eat...then i will go back to my mum's plc for tea ceremony myself, they can go home or to my flat to bathe & rest first...

All my close friends gave quite abit for us, so pai sei... BUTTTT majority of them not married yet!! :yamseng:

I tink hor, by the time ur frens get married, market rate also different already...i tink wat they give u, is the minimum u shld give when its their turns loh...but i shudder to tink of future dinner prices....reali scary lor the increase in prices...

 

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Ask already...she's only interested in the ping jin if its given by my hubby's mum, else she feels its of no point. Dats y ping jin amt, i decide also cos it comes from me...if come from hubby's mum, woah, duno how much she will ask man....

Hmm.. actually how you all ask abt pin jing amt?? I have not asked my mum. And dunno how to go abt asking her.

Do you all ask in presence of everyone, including hubby or do it privately??

 

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Xinyi, i did dat privately...when hubby is not around cos he was working dat day....Her first question was, who will be giving, lol. Since its me, she say anything lar, up to me...Will be giving her $1888 loh...i cannt afford more liao.....See how much she wana return...she dun wish to give back i also anything...

 

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Fifi, im sure the things dat happened must have affected ur frenship with them rite? For me, i avoid telling them my dinner plans already cos im afraid to hear more hurtful stuff from them...My ex-colleagues offered to help me out but only one is unmarried. They say married liao cannot be jiemei else not good for the bride (which i dun believe cos if i get married late then i cannt have jiemei liao??) so they say they will call themselves as maids of honour, lol.

Married le still can be jie mei but cannot be bridesmaid...as in the one who hold the tail of your gown...that one must be unmarried...they say cannot be jie mei for more than 7 times or else the jie mei risks not being able to get married in future...but this is just myth....actually depends on whether you pantang abt such things or not...my jie meis mostly married one....very hard to find unmarried jie meis leh...:sport-smiley-018:

 

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Fifi, im sure the things dat happened must have affected ur frenship with them rite? For me, i avoid telling them my dinner plans already cos im afraid to hear more hurtful stuff from them...My ex-colleagues offered to help me out but only one is unmarried. They say married liao cannot be jiemei else not good for the bride (which i dun believe cos if i get married late then i cannt have jiemei liao??) so they say they will call themselves as maids of honour, lol.

My hubby's side will have 20plus ppl for the tea ceremony...so i cfm will cater buffet. For my side, less than 10 ppl including my parents & ah-ma...Pizza is a good idea! Yup yup, dats y i will want my helpers to follow me to go eat...then i will go back to my mum's plc for tea ceremony myself, they can go home or to my flat to bathe & rest first...

yup definitely. i mean i treat her as 1 of my good frens that's why asked her to be my jie mei and she gave soo many excuses. in fact during her wedding (hers is after mine) her hubby wanted me to be the receptionist. i told him many times i dun want to but he insisted. coz i'm still sore at the fact that his wife played me out :dancingqueen: so in the end bo bian loh. coz he is my good fren oso mah. but i d.amn suay... during the recept, 1 of his relatives sort of like hinted to his niece and nephew (pri sch kids) to keep an eye on the ang bao box (coz the box is beside me) and while the relative was saying that, she was eyeing on me. i felt d.amn insulted!!! my dad asked me why i never just walk away (i told my dad when i reached home and given my temper, i might have done that :dancingqueen:) but i din wanna make tings difficult for my frens on their big day... so i ren loh... will never forget that... i din tell him even till now... haizz...

but the other who declined from the start i'm still fine with her. coz i actually sort of expected that reply knowing her character :dancingqueen:

er... i asked 1 of my colleagues to be my jie mei although she is married. my mum is ok with that. she said as long as dun look old can liaoz :dancingqueen: i guess it deps on the person whether she's superstitious anot... as to the number of times, i thot is 3 times? but my good best fren still helped me out although tink she had been jie mei for several times and she's not married yet. :sport-smiley-018:

just a suggestion. u can order canadian pizza. the taste is competable with pizza hut. their chicken wings and cheese sticks is :dancingqueen: and they have quite a few other side orders.

and best of all, it's not expensive. i had thot of sakae sushi but doesnt seem that practically and my parents told me dun have to order soo many... u can ask ur sis or any family member to help arrange that. my sis helped me with that and i just pass the money to her :dancingqueen:

Hmm.. actually how you all ask abt pin jing amt?? I have not asked my mum. And dunno how to go abt asking her.

Do you all ask in presence of everyone, including hubby or do it privately??

i tink mine is rather traditional... :yamseng:

we had a lunch tog, my inlaws and my parents as well as hubby and i. and there, my parents "talk" terms with my inlaws loh...

my parents did not pocket the whole ang bao... they just keep a nice number and returned the rest. coz mum said she only accepted very small sum for my sis (coz BIL just started working) so she wont take too much from my inlaws. !!

in fact my MIL and hubby had asked me how much my mum wants before the lunch but i just told them i dunno !!

Edited by Fifi
 

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Married le still can be jie mei but cannot be bridesmaid...as in the one who hold the tail of your gown...that one must be unmarried...they say cannot be jie mei for more than 7 times or else the jie mei risks not being able to get married in future...but this is just myth....actually depends on whether you pantang abt such things or not...my jie meis mostly married one....very hard to find unmarried jie meis leh...:sport-smiley-018:

Ooohh...now i noe...mayb i can tell them this, at least they wont feel weird :dancingqueen: Im totally not pantang but i will respect those who are, so tot its better to be more conservative loh. They scared cos they married, then duno wat married jiemeis will bring bad luck to the bride....siao4 i noe but alot of such myths flying around...

 

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Ooohh...now i noe...mayb i can tell them this, at least they wont feel weird !! Im totally not pantang but i will respect those who are, so tot its better to be more conservative loh. They scared cos they married, then duno wat married jiemeis will bring bad luck to the bride....siao4 i noe but alot of such myths flying around...

er... that time my sis 2 mths+ preggie liao she still be my jie mei :sport-smiley-018:

actually i only wanted her to help out abit coz i already have 4 jie meis

so i ordered 5 corsages, 1 that i would like to keep for myself

but on AD, she took and put it ard her wrist so she become my jie mei oso :dancingqueen:

 

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yup definitely. i mean i treat her as 1 of my good frens that's why asked her to be my jie mei and she gave soo many excuses. in fact during her wedding (hers is after mine) her hubby wanted me to be the receptionist. i told him many times i dun want to but he insisted. coz i'm still sore at the fact that his wife played me out :dancingqueen: so in the end bo bian loh. coz he is my good fren oso mah. but i d.amn suay... during the recept, 1 of his relatives sort of like hinted to his niece and nephew (pri sch kids) to keep an eye on the ang bao box (coz the box is beside me) and while the relative was saying that, she was eyeing on me. i felt d.amn insulted!:yamseng: my dad asked me why i never just walk away (i told my dad when i reached home and given my temper, i might have done that !!) but i din wanna make tings difficult for my frens on their big day... so i ren loh... will never forget that... i din tell him even till now... haizz...

but the other who declined from the start i'm still fine with her. coz i actually sort of expected that reply knowing her character !!

er... i asked 1 of my colleagues to be my jie mei although she is married. my mum is ok with that. she said as long as dun look old can liaoz !! i guess it deps on the person whether she's superstitious anot... as to the number of times, i thot is 3 times? but my good best fren still helped me out although tink she had been jie mei for several times and she's not married yet. :sport-smiley-018:

just a suggestion. u can order canadian pizza. the taste is competable with pizza hut. their chicken wings and cheese sticks is :dancingqueen: and they have quite a few other side orders.

and best of all, it's not expensive. i had thot of sakae sushi but doesnt seem that practically and my parents told me dun have to order soo many... u can ask ur sis or any family member to help arrange that. my sis helped me with that and i just pass the money to her !!

i tink mine is rather traditional... :dancingqueen:

we had a lunch tog, my inlaws and my parents as well as hubby and i. and there, my parents "talk" terms with my inlaws loh...

my parents did not pocket the whole ang bao... they just keep a nice number and returned the rest. coz mum said she only accepted very small sum for my sis (coz BIL just started working) so she wont take too much from my inlaws. :yamseng:

in fact my MIL and hubby had asked me how much my mum wants before the lunch but i just told them i dunno !!

Wow...if me hor, tink i will go home drop tears not becos im sad but becos i will be d.a.m.n angry loh. I was one of the recep for my ex-colleague's wedding & 4 of us guard the box like siao & none of her family mbrs minded loh...in fact once their pockets full liao, they will pass to me to safeguard!:dancingqueen: Dat attitude is too much...Actually, i also duno how i will react if next time these 2 frens of mine ask me for help when it comes to their turn...i will still help out lar of cos but i will hope they realise how difficult it is to plan a dinner.

I hope my hubby & his mum will visit my parents too...as in ti qing lidat. Cos b4 we ROMed, my parents not hapi dat my hubby's mum nv visit them. But my hubby's mum also not hapi, say ROM only, no need to visit, only customary then need. I hope she will practise wat she preaches else my dad will reali jump....Ping jin cfm i will give out of my own pocket. I noe its weird but i dun like to use other ppl's $ thou traditionally, it shldnt work dat way, heh~ Ur mum is very understanding, very nice of her !!

er... that time my sis 2 mths+ preggie liao she still be my jie mei :dancingqueen:

actually i only wanted her to help out abit coz i already have 4 jie meis

so i ordered 5 corsages, 1 that i would like to keep for myself

but on AD, she took and put it ard her wrist so she become my jie mei oso :dancingqueen:

WUhahaha...ur sis very auto, she volunteer to be jiemei herself !! I also heard somewhere dat pregnant all the more shldnt be jiemei & cant even attend wedding dinner or wat cos clash or wat....But i reali bochap lar, cos now its 2007 already, not BC2007....

 

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Wow...if me hor, tink i will go home drop tears not becos im sad but becos i will be d.a.m.n angry loh. I was one of the recep for my ex-colleague's wedding & 4 of us guard the box like siao & none of her family mbrs minded loh...in fact once their pockets full liao, they will pass to me to safeguard!:sport-smiley-004: Dat attitude is too much...Actually, i also duno how i will react if next time these 2 frens of mine ask me for help when it comes to their turn...i will still help out lar of cos but i will hope they realise how difficult it is to plan a dinner.

I hope my hubby & his mum will visit my parents too...as in ti qing lidat. Cos b4 we ROMed, my parents not hapi dat my hubby's mum nv visit them. But my hubby's mum also not hapi, say ROM only, no need to visit, only customary then need. I hope she will practise wat she preaches else my dad will reali jump....Ping jin cfm i will give out of my own pocket. I noe its weird but i dun like to use other ppl's $ thou traditionally, it shldnt work dat way, heh~ Ur mum is very understanding, very nice of her :sport-smiley-004:

WUhahaha...ur sis very auto, she volunteer to be jiemei herself :good: I also heard somewhere dat pregnant all the more shldnt be jiemei & cant even attend wedding dinner or wat cos clash or wat....But i reali bochap lar, cos now its 2007 already, not BC2007....

ya loh... i oso d.amn angry.. but wat can i do... coz both are my frens and it's actually not their fault. i've been recept once and never had this kind of treatment... so now i just be more cautious loh...

er... before we ROM my MIL asked my family out for a CNY dinner. like 1st time family meet family like that... very scary :P

now is already 2007. where the ping jin comes from doesnt matter. just yi shi yi shi only mah :P

keke... if i stick to traditional then my sis cant attend my wedding liaoz... tink she will be upset loh... coz i'm her only younger sis :P

ya... she's very auto... only ting is that i din get to keep the corsage for myself :dancingqueen:

my dat fren even more pantang. i cant even pass my wedding dinner photos to my other frens during her wedding dinner! thot can save some stamps... haiz... so frens show their true colours during such impt occasion :P

hubby's frens are different. all volunteered to help out! got 1 even volunteered to be xiong di coz he always MIA so we din count him in :P but somehow he popped out suddenly from somewhere and said wanna be his xiong di :dancingqueen:

 

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I not that pantang.. I feel impt thing is must be exciting and happy.. hehe.. I realised my married friends like more happening.. hahaha.. I dont mind having them as my jie mei as long as I have fun on that day.. hehe..

 

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