nowaday, people are skipping dinner cos too expensive. so customary depends on both of you lor.

Can always elope..... then ur mum got no $$ if really need to come to that.

Think in this case, need to be firm with her.

nowaday, people are skipping dinner cos too expensive. so customary depends on both of you lor.

Can always elope..... then ur mum got no $$ if really need to come to that.

Think in this case, need to be firm with her.

Run away bride in real life?

nowaday, people are skipping dinner cos too expensive. so customary depends on both of you lor.

Can always elope..... then ur mum got no $$ if really need to come to that.

Think in this case, need to be firm with her.

elope to where??

we no dinner le. its the dowry tt we cant afford.

actually this so call AD, we wan evthg to be under $10K

that includes our bridal package, all the necessaries like praying stuff, an chuan stuff, APs for that day, GDL items etc, PG...

but 8888 simply too high la

duno quarrel w her how many times liao lor

we dun wana go tru this hor, she dun wana acknowledge my hb ley

my hb very sad lor

Hi cherlyn, I empathise with you. Sometimes the biggest hurdle to cross is not the in-laws but our own parents. I've had a few issues with my mum and grandma over the wedding preps too, especially the guo da li stuff. I guess you just have to remain calm and talk to her nicely and explain that now that you are forking out all the money by yourself, you would sincerely appreciate that she not demand so much. You wouldn't want to end up in debt just because of this. If not, get your dad to talk to her or close relatives to talk some sense into her. I hope the headache will end soon for you

elope to where??

we no dinner le. its the dowry tt we cant afford.

actually this so call AD, we wan evthg to be under $10K

that includes our bridal package, all the necessaries like praying stuff, an chuan stuff, APs for that day, GDL items etc, PG...

but 8888 simply too high la

duno quarrel w her how many times liao lor

we dun wana go tru this hor, she dun wana acknowledge my hb ley

my hb very sad lor

If you are conrtibuting to the household expense currently you may use this as a negotiation chips.

option 1

Can one time 8888, marry of next time no more further contribution as you mention,

option 2

Or continue with your current contribution with a discount.

What do you want? Kill a golden goose at a time?

If you are conrtibuting to the household expense currently you may use this as a negotiation chips.

option 1

Can one time 8888, marry of next time no more further contribution as you mention,

option 2

Or continue with your current contribution with a discount.

What do you want? Kill a golden goose at a time?

Actually sounds like a good idea....give her one-time 8888 then tell her since u already forked out so much, you won't have any savings anymore and tell her because of this, you are currently in debt, so she accept the 8888, she won't get any more household money from you from then onwards.

Hi cherlyn, I empathise with you. Sometimes the biggest hurdle to cross is not the in-laws but our own parents. I've had a few issues with my mum and grandma over the wedding preps too, especially the guo da li stuff. I guess you just have to remain calm and talk to her nicely and explain that now that you are forking out all the money by yourself, you would sincerely appreciate that she not demand so much. You wouldn't want to end up in debt just because of this. If not, get your dad to talk to her or close relatives to talk some sense into her. I hope the headache will end soon for you

I aways like soft approaches. This is a better alternatives /options. Afterall they are senior parents. We should not talk like bussiness. But if time arise and needed to be firmed then we needed to be directive and know what is right and wrong. "Remember we are no longer a children after married" Must give Ang Pow after that

I aways like soft approaches. This is a better alternatives /options. Afterall they are senior parents. We should not talk like bussiness. But if time arise and needed to be firmed then we needed to be directive and know what is right and wrong. "Remember we are no longer a children after married" Must give Ang Pow after that

Ya lor, we are no longer kids but unfortunately to our parents, we are still their little children so they treat us like little children too and wana chup one leg in everything....not that it's bad....

Ya I think remaining clear-headed is a very impt for open negotiation, when both parties are too hot-headed, nothing constructive can be done.

cherlyn, you really need to have a nice talk with your mum, if ever she starts screaming and shouting, just let her be, but you must remain calm on your side. If she sees that you are unnerved by her antics, she would and just might probably stop all her nonsense and listen.

Ya lor, we are no longer kids but unfortunately to our parents, we are still their little children so they treat us like little children too and wana chup one leg in everything....not that it's bad....

Ya I think remaining clear-headed is a very impt for open negotiation, when both parties are too hot-headed, nothing constructive can be done.

cherlyn, you really need to have a nice talk with your mum, if ever she starts screaming and shouting, just let her be, but you must remain calm on your side. If she sees that you are unnerved by her antics, she would and just might probably stop all her nonsense and listen.

Or can go by installment. 888 first time, slowly monthly .... get cross the bridge first. After crossing it is up to you

Or can go by installment. 888 first time, slowly monthly .... get cross the bridge first. After crossing it is up to you

hmm.....instalment's a good suggestion too...

hmm.....instalment's a good suggestion too...

Hope Cherlyn can get through it smoothly and clamly. Life is always an option or choices. Whatever you decided today will have impact to what happen nexts. So manage it in a balance manner is importance.

Best wishes from TPY.

Hope Cherlyn can get through it smoothly and clamly. Life is always an option or choices. Whatever you decided today will have impact to what happen nexts. So manage it in a balance manner is importance.

Best wishes from TPY.

thanks everybody! you all r so kind and helpful

well, i mite be wrong, sometimes i cant help but tiking even colelagues or u know ppl who i do not know can be such caring and understanding why not my own biological problems?

u know, when i told a senior aunti abt my prob, the first ques she asked, is she yr real own mother?

haha! then for some moment i even wana to do blood test and DNA u know! i told my dad, am i yr own daughter? why treat me this way?

anywae, my dad cant help. he everythg sae, listen to mum la. let her be la. give it to her lor. shes yr mum no matter good or bad. wah lao...so i never trouble my dad for help liao....

well now got new 'progress'...

she wanted:-

5888 - dowry

30 boxes of cakes

30pax each for GDL and AL for buffet

all APs she will take except JING CHA de APs we take

(ask u all ar, if gt ppl gv us personally the APs, can we take and dun give her? pls advise?)

10KG roast meat and 10KG roast pig leg

(this is gona be ex, i reckon will even be more ex than a pig!)

esp during cny perios, vendors sure increase price.

and some hokkien bixs

fyi, im a hokkien bride and my hb a cantonese groom

however, my in laws v jing cai, they do not need or wan anythg, they let my hb decide

my hb still tik 5888 alot and esp the leg and meat...

what u all tik??

my mum sae she wun return us the 5888 a single cent

now, we still deciding to go tru this whole **** thg anot??

we haven order anythg yet lor

thanks everybody! you all r so kind and helpful

well, i mite be wrong, sometimes i cant help but tiking even colelagues or u know ppl who i do not know can be such caring and understanding why not my own biological problems?

u know, when i told a senior aunti abt my prob, the first ques she asked, is she yr real own mother?

haha! then for some moment i even wana to do blood test and DNA u know! i told my dad, am i yr own daughter? why treat me this way?

anywae, my dad cant help. he everythg sae, listen to mum la. let her be la. give it to her lor. shes yr mum no matter good or bad. wah lao...so i never trouble my dad for help liao....

well now got new 'progress'...

she wanted:-

5888 - dowry

30 boxes of cakes

30pax each for GDL and AL for buffet

all APs she will take except JING CHA de APs we take

(ask u all ar, if gt ppl gv us personally the APs, can we take and dun give her? pls advise?)

10KG roast meat and 10KG roast pig leg

(this is gona be ex, i reckon will even be more ex than a pig!)

esp during cny perios, vendors sure increase price.

and some hokkien bixs

fyi, im a hokkien bride and my hb a cantonese groom

however, my in laws v jing cai, they do not need or wan anythg, they let my hb decide

my hb still tik 5888 alot and esp the leg and meat...

what u all tik??

my mum sae she wun return us the 5888 a single cent

now, we still deciding to go tru this whole **** thg anot??

we haven order anythg yet lor

Since you've already gotten to 5888, possible to negotiate for lower price with her?

As for ang baos, by "all" ang baos, what are you referring to? Those jing cha ang baos?? I'm guessing that you couldn't be referring to the ang baos on dinner because u don't plan to hold it right?

Outsiders always can offer you consolation and advice but the ultimate thing is how you plan to handle the situation because we are not in your shoes, so it's easy for us to give advice....i would suggest to speak nicely....if she wants to turn hysterical, let her be.....when she's finished and tired of her antics, then continue trying to talk nicely to her.....

seems like really a lot...

but since she is willing to lower until 5888, is there a chance where she will lower some more?

i tink she may have done some calculations and ended up the tings will still amount to 8888....

tell her the digits 1688 is better... coz will prosper along the road!

Since you've already gotten to 5888, possible to negotiate for lower price with her?

As for ang baos, by "all" ang baos, what are you referring to? Those jing cha ang baos?? I'm guessing that you couldn't be referring to the ang baos on dinner because u don't plan to hold it right?

Outsiders always can offer you consolation and advice but the ultimate thing is how you plan to handle the situation because we are not in your shoes, so it's easy for us to give advice....i would suggest to speak nicely....if she wants to turn hysterical, let her be.....when she's finished and tired of her antics, then continue trying to talk nicely to her.....

the problem is we dun hav much time le

she sae 5888 is final. haiz...

still alot lo rite?

seems like really a lot...

but since she is willing to lower until 5888, is there a chance where she will lower some more?

i tink she may have done some calculations and ended up the tings will still amount to 8888....

tell her the digits 1688 is better... coz will prosper along the road!

she asked me go die

she made very nasty remarks to my hb also

alr said and mention cannot!

haiz

Since you've already gotten to 5888, possible to negotiate for lower price with her?

As for ang baos, by "all" ang baos, what are you referring to? Those jing cha ang baos?? I'm guessing that you couldn't be referring to the ang baos on dinner because u don't plan to hold it right?

Outsiders always can offer you consolation and advice but the ultimate thing is how you plan to handle the situation because we are not in your shoes, so it's easy for us to give advice....i would suggest to speak nicely....if she wants to turn hysterical, let her be.....when she's finished and tired of her antics, then continue trying to talk nicely to her.....

i mean if frens and relatives turn up on GSL and AD, they gv angbows..those angbows