Before And After Marriage

[korea 0]

Haha mine too! !!

I guess guys don't seem to have this notion of protecting the one they love when they have to make a decision between right and wrong...they tend to view things from a more practical POV. So if you are really in the wrong, he will not hesitate to point that out, even in front of other ppl....not that they do it deliberately...just that perhaps in their mind at that point of time, the gist of the situation is to judge who's right and who's wrong...so it's not a matter of siding or not siding others or trying to go against you....rather that they are more inclined towards logical reasoning...and in the course of that, they might inadvertently malu their partner in front of other ppl without even realising it....I hate it too and I have told my fiance to be more sensitive in whatever he say abt me in front of other ppl...i dun like to lose face in front of other ppl!

ya, somehow you're correct about men lor.

[Air 0]

ya, somehow you're correct about men lor.

Actually men are difficult creatures to fathom too..dun really understand their actions sometimes..I'm still trying to understand my fiance...still not very successful lor... !!

[korea 0]

Actually men are difficult creatures to fathom too..dun really understand their actions sometimes..I'm still trying to understand my fiance...still not very successful lor... !!

actually, i know my hubby's character quite well. just like men are really quite different from women in many ways.

[whiteivory 0]

!! !! so most of the local gal like "foreplay" here... not like my wife. Simple, non-creative but it is ok to me. I'm busy with my laptop.

"foreplay"?? nope, is a form of punishment when he comments on something that I dont like to hear, eg why now you put on so much weight, last time so slim. (sounds familiar rite!! a line from the show again)

I guess we are all working women, we need to be more aggressive in our working environment where there is so much back stabbing and politiking everywhere, we have to "protect" ourselves. Thus, we have "lost" our "gentleness". eg those gfs around me are mostly have the tough side, including me. But in comparision with ladies from angmo countries, we are considered gentle in the eyes of angmo men. Their women are even more outspoken than us here.

But sometimes we also display our gentleness la, esp when I want a birthday or xmas present .. haha

is your wife a indonesian chinese?

ya lor, i also just play play with him. but ahnah took it seriously that i really beat my hubby. hahaha.

ya, I am sure my hb big fat arm can take my blows. Sometimes, he even comments that is like a mosquito pricking him only. Looks like I better go for weight lifting liao.

[korea 0]

But sometimes we also display our gentleness la, esp when I want a birthday or xmas present .. haha

me too! i'll display my gentleness when i request favours from hubby esp buying expensive things. he said his life is only good when i want to buy expensive things or else miserable. !! !!

[ahnah 0]

is your wife a indonesian chinese?

ya lor, i also just play play with him. but ahnah took it seriously that i really beat my hubby. hahaha. !!

Yes she is.

Hahaha ..

"foreplay"??!! nope, is a form of punishment when he comments on something that I dont like to hear, eg why now you put on so much weight, last time so slim. (sounds familiar rite!! a line from the show again)

I guess we are all working women, we need to be more aggressive in our working environment where there is so much back stabbing and politiking everywhere, we have to "protect" ourselves. Thus, we have "lost" our "gentleness". eg those gfs around me are mostly have the tough side, including me. But in comparision with ladies from angmo countries, we are considered gentle in the eyes of angmo men. Their women are even more outspoken than us here.

But sometimes we also display our gentleness la, esp when I want a birthday or xmas present .. hahaya, I am sure my hb big fat arm can take my blows. Sometimes, he even comments that is like a mosquito pricking him only. Looks like I better go for weight lifting liao.

So .. it 应 last night show ... Marry a Daughter or Marry a Wife ? . . ..

as man grow wiser (not older) they should know what to say and what not to say .. some time it is just 打情骂俏

[LinDa 0]

Anyone like me? Husband always pushes the blame to his wife one? Let wife be the scapegoat? Yet so defensive for other women??

my hubby will do it too.. i oso don't understand why.. i mean mine was nothing so serious la..

like couple of days ago, was out with ID choosing lights, then in the shop, i was trying to tell him one of the light maybe we can consider putting at this corner of our house, i think he wasn't in a good mood tat day, then when the ID asked him what i wanted, my hubby say 'don't know la, she always like to mumble to herself' so loudly in the shoo lor.. make me malu and stupid and small..

then just last sunday, we went sentosa, was late and he told his friend 'its her *point to me* fault'..

but i mean like i said, it was nothing so major as in front of my colleagues (to me thats the extreme because of professionalism i need to maintain in front of my working partnes) so i let go but did tell him i felt kinda hurt.. though he doesn't get it still, he find it small matter.. sighs *shake head*

[LinDa 0]

my hb is nice to me 99% of the time. But dunno why he always like to sabo me like this. I really understand how you feel hurt disappointed mah. But why they keep on doing that to us even thou we tell them not to?

i guess it could be due to their egoistic nature..

[Air 0]

i guess it could be due to their egoistic nature..

Also, some men talk without letting whatever they want to say go through their big brain and para-phrasing their sentence...they simply do not bother...my fiance sometimes like that...like to malu me in front of his friends...to give him face, i lun until we're out of his friends' sight then i shoot him left, right, up, down, centre....then he just apologised and told me he didn't mean it and didn't think that i would take it so personally....

[korea 0]

sometimes, hubby will give me face in front of others. he'll not say me directly in front of others. he'll only say me when nobody is around. eg, inside the car or at new house. when outside buying things and he'll touch my head to express sayang in front of the salesgirl.

but hor, sometimes he'll also talk loudly to me in public. so all depend.

[LinDa 0]

nowadays, i trying new tactic with hubby.. trying to be cool with him so he will love me more.. sighs, very tiring lei coz i'm a big chatterbox so its tough trying not to talk to him so much, trying not to show too much concern..

Edited May 13, 2007 by LinDa

[korea 0]

nowadays, i trying new tactic with hubby.. trying to be cool with him so he will love me more.. sighs, very tiring lei coz i'm a big chatterbox so its tough trying not to talk to him so much, trying not to show too much concern..

huh? you mean when you don't show him concern and he'll love you more?? so strange leh. if i show more concern and understanding towards hubby and he'll love me more.

[Air 0]

huh? you mean when you don't show him concern and he'll love you more?? so strange leh. if i show more concern and understanding towards hubby and he'll love me more.

Haha Linda...me trying to be the same too....with him, i talk alot and i interfere alot too...also learning to try to be cool with him so that he will appreciate whatever i say or do even more....

Korea, I think what Linda is trying to say is that, sometimes with men, the more you nag and talk, the more they don't listen and appreciate...so think what she's trying to do is to show concern only when necessary...men are funny creatures, the more you talk to them, the more they don't want to listen....so if you let loose your leash on them a little, they will start to gan jiong abit and show you more attention....

[whiteivory 0]

ya, I agree. Like my case, when I give suggestions, eg about work problems to my HB, he doesnt listen and he said he only wanted a listening ear, and not suggestions. aiyo, I sayang him then I give him some advices to hope it can help him feel better or at least, can improve the situation. He said is a man's ego thing, cannot always listen to the wife, if not become hen pecked.

Edited May 14, 2007 by whiteivory

[LinDa 0]

huh? you mean when you don't show him concern and he'll love you more?? so strange leh. if i show more concern and understanding towards hubby and he'll love me more.

i think all starting relationships, newly-weds or one-in-a-million-good-man will behave that way - the nice u r to him, e nicer he is to u.. but i find usually after yrs of marriage, the rest of the man tend to find anything you say more than 1 sentence is naggy and don't like to share their problems.

and if they do not belong to the 3 categories i just listed right, still super nice to u after yrs of marriage, there is a 4th category, means he is having a affair outside so come back always super nice to u always to make it up to u!

Haha Linda...me trying to be the same too....with him, i talk alot and i interfere alot too...also learning to try to be cool with him so that he will appreciate whatever i say or do even more....

Korea, I think what Linda is trying to say is that, sometimes with men, the more you nag and talk, the more they don't listen and appreciate...so think what she's trying to do is to show concern only when necessary...men are funny creatures, the more you talk to them, the more they don't want to listen....so if you let loose your leash on them a little, they will start to gan jiong abit and show you more attention....

but so tough lei, play cool, i'm almost biting my tongue liao.. its just not me lor.. kinda sad hor, cannot be me to gain more love!! and what do they say about loving us no matter who we are when we were pak-tor-ing?!?! bluff one..

i tell u the 'loose your leash on them a little, they will start to gan jiong abit' is really a natural phenomenon..

Edited May 14, 2007 by LinDa