rain

Your ID is really tor-gong - can almost match the contractor I had, but yours is still better la, if that's any comfort to you. Would you mind pming me your ID?

I bought a sony handycam for $899 - an old model. The new model showcased was above $2000 I think.

When I was 24, and pregnant, while waiting at Novena MRT, an ah ma in her 70s approached me and asked,"Auntie ah, Tan Tock Seng where huh?" Imagine my shock - I could be your granddaughter for goodness' sake. You call me 'auntie' just becos I am pregnant. Back to the topic, I never thought I could be a parent because basically, I'm a very self-centred person. Although the child wasn't exactly planned, but she gave me a purpose in life. If not for her, I would have continued to drift along in life, not knowing what I want, or what I should do. Now, if my marriage were more stable, I would love to have another one. Parenthood has more joys than tears, really. I haven't heard of anyone who regrets having kids.

Neither do I agree that there are higher number of homosexuals in single-gender schools. I think it's a generalisation+narrow mindedness. Besides, homosexuality or lesbianism is associated with sexual behaviour. Children or teens having a crush on friends of same gender is extremely common and I don't call that homosexuality or lesbianism. I found myself getting attracted to girls at different stages and I certainly don't attend any single-gender schools. I suspect that the 'several friends' zirhk mentioned are the minority who get poor grades for English bcos all my friends from convents or girls' schools are definitely, always, more proficient in English than girls from mixed schools.

hi hi, It's not lifestorey. It's Lifeshop. People tend to confuse the two. Used to be at Raffles shopping centre. Don't know still there or not. You can call them. Their website: http://www.thelifeshop.com/cms_main/index....icle&view=6

Hi everybody, I was ranting and raving about my husband's laziness, refusal to help out with the housework and our fights over many issues in another thread. But hor ... recently, these few days la, he actually took his initiative to wash up our kid's lunchbox, prepare her uniform for the next day, tried - yes, 'tried' - to wash his own clothes, and talked quite nicely to me. His birthday is coming in a few days' time. I'm a goon doo when it comes to making a guy happy, but would like to reward him for the efforts he's put in these few days on his birthday. Can someone give me some pointers on how I can do it besides the cake and a present? That day will also be one of my graduation days, so we'll be out till late afternoon. I'm thinking of showing him I can also 'strategise' a nice day for him (altho I'm in truth an idiot at it). Something practical and simple to do ok? Like '"Planning a birthday surprise for hubby" for dummies'. Would really appreciate some ideas. Thanks!

Yeah, I thought the pics are great too. Can share the camera brand, model and price or not? Want to know what kind of camera is 'semi-pro'. Thanks!

Gnm, Like what I said, household chores may seem trivial, but it can be detrimental to a marriage if they're not dealt with. Like how you've reacted, a friend expressed surprise at my frustration over housework,"What's there to quarrel over housework?" Then I found out that her husband helps out around the house - mops the floor, hang the laundry, takes care of the baby, to list a few. If you've a helping husband (that's not to say that 'you', Gnm, are a female), you wouldn't understand the frustration and tiredness of being a all-in-one woman. But of course, like what you've speculated, there're other issues. I don't know which is worse: a husband who is almost perfect except that he is unfaithful, or a husband whose only good point is being faithful. I suspect it's the former. At least you feel that he's the head of the household and takes care of you, and there's a valid reason to divorce him if you want to. I'd thought we'd sorted out all the household issues before marriage. He'd agreed to what I suggested. And I had trusted him to carry out his promises. Now there's no fulfilment of the promises. To me, he has lost all credibility. I have problems believing what he says and the lack of trust shows when we communicate. He then gets frustrated that I don't trust him to get a simple job done - but he does screw them up half the time. I didn't know he gambles huge. When I first realised he spent hundreds on the tickets after marriage, I told him I would divorce him if he does it again. I thought he would do it on the sly but I didn't want to restrict him too much as long as he kept the amount to a minimal. The last I knew, he spent $1.9k on just 3 tickets when there're other tickets lying around and he tried to lie to me that they are expired tickets when the date of purchase was on the tickets themselves. How can I, or anybody, trust that he will not gamble huge again? It's a habit, clearly. It makes me feel insecure that he would rather spend this kinda money on his habit than go clear his credit card debts, and come back and tell me he doesn't have money. It makes me feel that I'd rather he goes out and sleeps with another woman so that I can divorce him quickly. For every problem, there's supposed to be a solution. But a lot depends on whether the person sees it as a problem or not, or whether he would like to solve the problem.

Unfortunately, my husband does not wish to engage a part-time cleaner either since he can have a free maid. therat, I actually looked for a 'boring' man to be my husband because I thought such men are more homely and love their family. But I didn't know that men can be that lazy. Thanks for sharing your courtship story. Your husband is so cute. Very 'sha hu hu' and sincere.

Gnm, You're accurate in observing that men are incorrigible creatures who go back to their old ways after a few days. However, not all men are willing to sit down with you to discuss something that involves work. It's not helpful either to tell him that I also work in the same line, because he tells you that his workplace is more complicated, more stressful and more work to do. When I tell him that my friends' husbands help out, and most of them do more than the wives, he says it's because their jobs are more cushy. He knows that he gets more attention when he helps out, but that doesn't help to make him more hardworking when it comes to housework. We have agreed on him washing the toilets long time ago and I have resigned to the fact that he's not going to do more work than this, but he still doesn't do it! If only he had been honest with me before marriage that he wouldn't lift a finger to help - if only, I would never have married him. I knew too well that housework is an important part of a marriage - more important than sex if not equally important. It seems trivial, but it's one thing that builds up frustration and leads to quarrels if it's not dealt with. Oh my, you're really one lucky woman. I always wonder where you people find your husbands at. And how you know that he'll continue to do what he does before marriage, or be even better after marriage. I haven't told anyone about this, but 'divorce' has been lingering on my mind these few weeks. I'm really quite tired. Having a husband is like lowering your standard of living but raising the cost of living, and doing more work than ever. I just feel like going back to my mother's place with my kid and not having to do all these chores, and end up quarrelling with him over every little issue again.

clockwork, We're in the same boat, except that my husband washes the toilet once a month (!) or after we have a huge fight to the point of divorce over the dirtiness of the toilet. Even when he washes the toilet, he only washes the floor. The rest - the basin, the wall, shower screen - he doesn't classify them as part of the toilet. I really don't know how to get him to do anything. When I ask him to help out, like put the clothes back into the cupboard, he said,"yes" but doesn't do it. When I ask him to take out the rubbish, he says,"yes" but doesn't do it. Men don't understand that their refusal to help out with housework does put a strain on the marriage. Singapore men are just terrible. They say that there should be equality, but women are made to do more.

hiya, Phase 1 - those with siblings Phase 2A1 - old boys and gals who join alumni Phase 2A2 - old boys and gals Phase 2B - parent volunteers Phase 2C - within 1 km, 1 - 2 km, outside 2 km respectively

Honestly, I didn't think the c-section pain was 'excruciating' or 'hurt like crazy' la. A young mother next to my bed had a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarian) and she told me that she found natural birth more 'xin ku' compared to c-section. To me, c-section was painful enough for me to try holding my breath or bite my hand, but not the kind that will make me howl in pain altho my threshold of pain is very low - I howled in pain when I experienced some false labour alarm in my 7th month of pregnancy. Rather, it was the way the docs tried to clear the blood clots that traumatised me - that, was the excruciating part. I was advised by the nurses to walk about the next day after my operation. It was fine except for the lumps of blood clots that fell out of me. But becos the wound was in the 'centre', it did make walking awkward and slow as I didn't want to aggravate it.

Wah lau, whoever says this must have never gone thro a c-section before. During operation, you're knocked out - of course not painful. After operation, the part that is cut will be painful. The doc will give you a jab on your thigh to help ease the pain. I was scared of needles, but I actually asked to be jabbed to get rid of the pain. C-section may result in the mother having blood clots after the op, which in turn results in bleeding. I for one had those **** blood clots that fall out from my body in huge lumps whenever I started practising walking. It freaked me out and the nurses looked on with disgust. The first time it happened, they even wondered what that pile of thing on the floor was. The way the docs removed the blood clots was excruciating. I hope I never had to go thro that ever again. Have you ever been jabbed 8 times in a day? For a person who wants to faint at the sight of needles, it was definitely ****.

I remember a friend saying that a colleague told her that after giving birth, there would be nothing you are afraid of. But she is still 'scared to death' when she needs to see the dentist. I did c-section at kkh. I vow never to go back there if I ever get pregnant again. It was a totally traumatic experience which remains vivid in my memory and sends a shiver down my spine whenever I recollect the stay.

You never tell him only men who listen to wives become rich? I told my husband, he never listens to me, no wonder he's always so poor.

It's either I'm too unobservant or what you've heard is plain rubbish. I have one in the living room and I don't remember it causing flickering shadow. Perhaps it's bcos mine doesn't come with a light kit, but in any case, I've heard from others that those with light kit don't cause flickering shadow either. I've heard though, that flickering shadow has to do with where the lights are. Perhaps if the lights are somewhere near above the fan, then there would be flickering shadow. Or maybe if the room is dimly lit - I'm just speculating - then it might seem obvious that there is flickering shadow.

Haha ... actually you're not the first one to say that he behaves like women. My friends and sister made the same comments and they would say that usually they are the ones who behave that way while their husbands and boyfriends acted the way I did. I've talked to him many times about it but he doesn't change. I've given up talking to him about any situation because nowadays, not only does he not admit that he's wrong, he would flare up in anger or say,"I don't want to talk to you about it." and leave the house. I'm not the type to admit I'm wrong when I'm not. It'll only make him feel that I'm really wrong. I'm just waiting for that day when I'm totally sick of all these and am brave enough to find a lawyer for a divorce.

You all don't know. I used to walk away, or rather, I tried to walk away when he raised his voice at me in public. You know what he did? He tagged along and continue to raise his voice and kept announcing loudly the wrongs I've done him and how I shouldn't do this and that. I realised that if I don't shout at him back, he'll continue to do it. So nowadays, I just scream at him in public whenever he's about to raise his voice at me. When I asked him why he doesn't allow me, or the both of us, to cool off, he said he doesn't believe in cooling off. He said everything must settle on the spot. I told him it's not possible to talk and think properly in the heat of the moment but he still maintained that everything must be talked out right there and then. Isn't that exasperating? Why must I find a nicer man before I divorce him - Bcos if there isn't a nicer man, I think I might not be able to leave him at all. I've tried to live without men for some years. It's really not easy. After a while, it gets really lonely. Nobody to take you to the movies, nobody to buy food for you when you eat out, nobody to share your joy and sorrow with, nobody to go to KK hospital with you when your kid's temperature maintains at 40 degree celcius. It's really very distressing and ... lonely la.

I feel that I can identify with you. Last time everything also yes. Now he's like 180-degree changed. So different I feel that I married a stranger. If getting married means that my Romeo becomes a devil, then indeed, what's the point in getting married? He loves to wash dirty linen in public - something I cannot stand. I've seen how my father shouted at my mother in public and I promised myself never to marry a man like that. Now he often raises his voice at me in public. For someone so thin-skinned like me, I've been trained by my husband to also behave like a shrew. I started to shout or raise my voice in public whenever he shows signs of about to quarrel with me in public. Sometimes I feel sad thinking about what the marriage has turned me into. One of these days, I'll find myself a nicer man and divorce him. !!

I'm surprised that you would imagine that you can keep the flat (or is that your motive?) after divorce. I hope you understand that you need to sell the flat if you divorce. It's definitely a tall order not to lecture you tho. Such an act is really too base (read: too cheap).