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I'm On Strike !

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I'm a working mom who's I've been married for 6 years now.

For 6 years I've been managing almost everything.

I come back home, pick up my 5 yrs ol son from child care.

Then I feed him dinner, revise him on his school work , wash, fold & keep the laundry ,

vacume & mop house plus other misc stuff. Try and put my hyper son to sleep, which could

take hrs then I can finally rest, which by then it's almost midnight :wub:

My hubby does help ard the hse plus he's in charge of cleaning the toilet every week.

But usually, he's comes back home, either plays the X box, computer or meddle with his stoopid new hp.

I understand that he's tired and thats he's way of relaxing after a hard days work. But I'm working too !

And my hubby's rather complicated, he's a very clean BUT messy person ! His cupboard look like a

rubbish bin. Sometimes I dunno why I bother folding his shirts. ;)

I confronted him 3 nights ago and told him to take the initiative to help out when I'm occupied

with something else, he said he don't understand why I'm complaining coz it's not a difficult thing to do.

I was SO PISSED :(

I then told him, if's its so easy, then prove me wrong.

From that night onwards, he'll have to clean up after himself, manage his own laundry, wash his own dishes,

prepare his own food and see if its easy and not exhausting. :(

It's been 2 days now and his doing everything himself. That will teach him.

And I don't plan to stop my strike :dribble:

 

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I'm a working mom who's I've been married for 6 years now.

For 6 years I've been managing almost everything.

I come back home, pick up my 5 yrs ol son from child care.

Then I feed him dinner, revise him on his school work , wash, fold & keep the laundry ,

vacume & mop house plus other misc stuff. Try and put my hyper son to sleep, which could

take hrs then I can finally rest, which by then it's almost midnight !!

My hubby does help ard the hse plus he's in charge of cleaning the toilet every week.

But usually, he's comes back home, either plays the X box, computer or meddle with his stoopid new hp.

I understand that he's tired and thats he's way of relaxing after a hard days work. But I'm working too !

And my hubby's rather complicated, he's a very clean BUT messy person ! His cupboard look like a

rubbish bin. Sometimes I dunno why I bother folding his shirts. :dunno:

I confronted him 3 nights ago and told him to take the initiative to help out when I'm occupied

with something else, he said he don't understand why I'm complaining coz it's not a difficult thing to do.

I was SO PISSED :furious:

I then told him, if's its so easy, then prove me wrong.

From that night onwards, he'll have to clean up after himself, manage his own laundry, wash his own dishes,

prepare his own food and see if its easy and not exhausting. :notti:

It's been 2 days now and his doing everything himself. That will teach him.

And I don't plan to stop my strike :notti:

Yikes.. I better be careful lest it happen to the phantom.. *gulp*

 

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hmm.. no commend..

b'coz almost 50% of the thing u mention is all done by my husband.

He already give up hope asking me to iron his clothing. Now he does his own iron. :furious:

I'm the one.. come back home, read newspaper, watch TV, play computer game

Even my son also say..

Why u always play computer

I reply

Then why you always play your ultraman

!!

 

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hmm.. no commend..

b'coz almost 50% of the thing u mention is all done by my husband.

He already give up hope asking me to iron his clothing. Now he does his own iron. :D

I'm the one.. come back home, read newspaper, watch TV, play computer game

Even my son also say..

Why u always play computer

i reply

Then why you always play your ultraman

:unsure:

Lucky you ! Can swap husbands ? :rofl:

 

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clockwork,

We're in the same boat, except that my husband washes the toilet once a month (:unsure:!) or after we have a huge fight to the point of divorce over the dirtiness of the toilet. Even when he washes the toilet, he only washes the floor. The rest - the basin, the wall, shower screen - he doesn't classify them as part of the toilet.

I really don't know how to get him to do anything.

When I ask him to help out, like put the clothes back into the cupboard, he said,"yes" but doesn't do it.

When I ask him to take out the rubbish, he says,"yes" but doesn't do it.

Men don't understand that their refusal to help out with housework does put a strain on the marriage.

Singapore men are just terrible. They say that there should be equality, but women are made to do more.

 

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Hmm... dun put all singapore men to the same judgment just because your husband is like that. It is not fair!

Just like men cannot put the same judgment on all women cos they feel their wife is not doing enough for the home.

In order for a family to work, both the husband and the wife must work hand in hand together! There are always solutions to problems. One must sit down and work at them. Striking does no one any good.

I am a man who is lucky to have a wife who is willing to share the chores with me. I personally feel that men sometimes need a good rapping on the head to realize that their wife is doing more than the fair share of work.

Sit your husbands down. Share your unhappiness over the unfair share of workload in the home with them. Then tell them that it would really be helpful if they could help out more often as you are as tired as they are when you come back home from work.

Don't put the blame on anyone or anything. You, as his wife, is telling him that you are feeling the strain of balancing work and home life and needs a helping hand.

I am sure he will understand.

I am always amazed by the patience of women, and this is where patience will come into play. He will help, mabbe for a week or two. Then repeat the whole process again. Men are sometimes not able to register something immediately. So keep reminding him every once in a while.

With time, when he notices that you can pay more attention to him cos you are not as tired out as you would be without his help, he will appreciate the attention he is getting from you and he will just naturally do it without you telling him to.

Work out a list of chores and delicate them to each other. If cooking is really a chore, doing only during the week ends or once in a while. Eat out or seek for quick cook recipes that you can use to resolve the cooking problem. Msg me if you need to, I have a few quick to cook recipes which I can share with you.

What me and my wife does, we delicate the house chores. I do more of the tougher ones like mopping and washing of the toilets and she does the more complicated ones like the laundry.

I usually do my ironing when watching TV in the evenings. Sometimes I do it, sometimes my wife does it. If it is still an issue, then do like what some people are doing.... Only iron the one you want to wear in the morning instead of doing the whole load at one go. His clothes he iron, her clothes she iron. That way, no one can complaint.

Hope it helps!

 

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Haha I so agree with you GnM!

My hubby is sweet lah, but inherently not domestic, cos he's mommy's precious boy, where even grapes she de-seed for him one by one (yes! A 30 yo man!)

He usually isn't even AWARE of the chores that have to be done. It's as if he doesn't see the clothes on the floor and the cups on the table! So I usually have to sit down nicely and ask him to help me by listing it down one by one. He tries.... for a week or so... and then forgets and slips back into his old pattern. I don't get angry cos I know it's just not in his DNA to do these things, and most of the time he helps when I ask.

BUT I have realized that there is ONE thing that is very important. His efforts must be acknowledged and praised, every time (like training puppy lidat :furious:). Then he'll be pleased with himself and try harder to "remember" the next time.

So far it's worked, but I must also set my expectations lor. He will never be a good homemaker - I must take the lead and the initiative and not expect him to do the "right"/"responsible" thing all the time. I have to be patient, and he has to try to contribute....

 

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Thks to all you guys for your support & advice ! !!

I guess, all married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.

A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

!!

 

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Lucky you ! Can swap husbands ? :)

haha..

cannot...

this husband good.. cover my short...

I don't know how to cook red bean and green bean soup. He know

I don't know how to make agar agar. He know

Try to ask him to cook bobochacha for me..

he say alot of prepartion.. don't want.. :)

then once a while got "liang tea" to drink.. 8|

 

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Gnm,

You're accurate in observing that men are incorrigible creatures who go back to their old ways after a few days. However, not all men are willing to sit down with you to discuss something that involves work.

It's not helpful either to tell him that I also work in the same line, because he tells you that his workplace is more complicated, more stressful and more work to do.

When I tell him that my friends' husbands help out, and most of them do more than the wives, he says it's because their jobs are more cushy.

He knows that he gets more attention when he helps out, but that doesn't help to make him more hardworking when it comes to housework.

We have agreed on him washing the toilets long time ago and I have resigned to the fact that he's not going to do more work than this, but he still doesn't do it!:)

If only he had been honest with me before marriage that he wouldn't lift a finger to help - if only, I would never have married him.

I knew too well that housework is an important part of a marriage - more important than sex if not equally important. It seems trivial, but it's one thing that builds up frustration and leads to quarrels if it's not dealt with.

haha..

cannot...

this husband good.. cover my short...

I don't know how to cook red bean and green bean soup. He know

I don't know how to make agar agar. He know

Try to ask him to cook bobochacha for me..

he say alot of prepartion.. don't want.. :)

then once a while got "liang tea" to drink.. 8|

Oh my, you're really one lucky woman.

I always wonder where you people find your husbands at. And how you know that he'll continue to do what he does before marriage, or be even better after marriage.

I haven't told anyone about this, but 'divorce' has been lingering on my mind these few weeks. I'm really quite tired. Having a husband is like lowering your standard of living but raising the cost of living, and doing more work than ever. I just feel like going back to my mother's place with my kid and not having to do all these chores, and end up quarrelling with him over every little issue again.

 

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After married for 21 years... the only house work that my HB helps is washing the plate everynight after dinner.... he suppose to mop the floor.... but hor... he only does it when he feels like... I also don't care... he doesn't want to do... I also don't do... just live with it lor...

Sometimes I also feel very angry that he doesn't help in doing the house chore.... but think over it... there is no other mistake that he made... I mean he always with me.... what else I ask for...

 

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i tell you, it won't change anything. once you're back to the original track, his pattern maybe more than badminton.

This is men......lol! they are pretty consistent in their "habbits".....

Actually it's a mistake for you to allow him gotten the Xbox. Guys are just like kids, and to me, it's really a luxury to play such toy. Shall think of how to make more money in the limited golden period (25-35) and then enjoy life later.

 

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There is always an issue on husbands helping out their wives on houseworks.

My HB is also a mummy's boy. He NEVER lift a finger on any housework, not even

wash a spoon or fork. Initially I also hv fights with him when we just married.

He dotes on me and helps a little, then sometimes I will catch him sitting down reading

newspapers half way thru sweeping the floor....Well, guys get distracted easily esp when

doing housework which they tinks that is women's chores. Bt he can hv full attention when

he is online gaming...

Imagine sometimes he will throw a wet towel on the bed...Arghs! I was so angry cos I am

a typical hygenic person and I like my house to be clean clean...

Then I was trying all sorta of methods trying to get him help out in the household chores.

Last time when we are staying in a 3 room flat, he seldom helps, except washing the toilets

every week. I dun mind back then cos the flat was pretty small. Then he initiates to move to

a bigger unit. I protest cos I tel him I cannot cope with the housework esp when he is not

helping much. Guess wat?? He volunteers to help out. Actually I also take a risk, cos he

may go back on his words anytime.

Bt now for a few months liao, he really keep his word and I am very glad.

Every sat, I will ask dedicate him jobs to do. I will ask him to sweep the floor first, then

I will tell him tat I cannot proceed to do wet jobs if he dun get it done. Then aft tat, he wil

wash the toilets and I will mop the floors. Then I will ask him to wipe the TV consoles, cabinets

and tables for me.

Then I will reward him by telling him he is off liao, can go play games liao. Then I will proceed to

go do other chores.

I usually do my ironing after dinner on wkdays. Actually can slim down too...cos I dun sit down

after eating...killing 2 birds in 1 stone.

Actually guys dun like to do housework except for the minority. I too need to work, sometimes I

will complain tired and as long as he help me some chores, then I am ok already.

Dun quarrel, slowly educate them, things will improve!

 

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