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cornetto

Enduring your spouse in times of stress

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ask u all one thing... if spouse go out till very late at night, say, 2-3am, should he/she at least inform his/her spouse in case he/she worry? or should he/she give him all the freedom & pray tt he/she is okay? just wondering (no we did not quarrel over this).

2-3 am? :bangwall: Should sleeping hours for people unless you need to work. So a responsible man will informed his wife where he is and what he is doing. Just my view.

If wife knows and trust the man she had, no qualm and don't ask.

Mutual trust is very importance in life.

 

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dun encourage you to say yes if you want to keep the relationship going on

i've known guys who did all sorts of ridiculous things just so that the partner will give an ultimatum aka 'change or i'll leave you' then they will not be blamed for playing the girl out :bangwall::D

thanks korea for the complement

i admire you guys coz i find it really takes a lot of courage to get married :bow::jawdrop:

yup, to get marry really needs a lot of courages. esp for those people who got married quite young. :(

ask u all one thing... if spouse go out till very late at night, say, 2-3am, should he/she at least inform his/her spouse in case he/she worry? or should he/she give him all the freedom & pray tt he/she is okay? just wondering (no we did not quarrel over this).

yup, it's a must to inform the spouse so that he/she knows what's going on. it's a part of responsibility. :deal:

Mutual trust is very importance in life.

yup, mutual trust is very impt but it's very difficult to get it done. :)

 

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ask u all one thing... if spouse go out till very late at night, say, 2-3am, should he/she at least inform his/her spouse in case he/she worry? or should he/she give him all the freedom & pray tt he/she is okay? just wondering (no we did not quarrel over this).

Yes, should inform your other half so as not to let them worry. This is responsibility.

 

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yup, to get marry really needs a lot of courages. esp for those people who got married quite young. :bow:

yup, it's a must to inform the spouse so that he/she knows what's going on. it's a part of responsibility. :)

yup, mutual trust is very impt but it's very difficult to get it done. :bangwall:

only gain when your hairs turn white, either through misunderstanding worries or peacefuly grows old. So hang on and we shall gain it. :D

 

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only gain when your hairs turn white, either through misunderstanding worries or peacefuly grows old. So hang on and we shall gain it. :D

what do you mean? :bangwall:

 

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i also admire you too..very unconventional thinking. :)

i also admire all of you

getting married is the second biggest gamble in a woman's life and giving birth is the biggest

mothers have my highest prespect :bow: :bow:

 

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ask u all one thing... if spouse go out till very late at night, say, 2-3am, should he/she at least inform his/her spouse in case he/she worry? or should he/she give him all the freedom & pray tt he/she is okay? just wondering (no we did not quarrel over this).

While I must agree that its a responsibility of the spouse to inform the other half his/her whereabouts so as to assure the other party, the other party should always give the benefit of doubt that s/he is so busy that s/he had forgotten to inform.

Always remember, you both are married couple leh, not employer/employee or colleagues. There should always be mutual trust and endurance, NOT EXPECTATIONS.

Instead of concentrating on why the other party did not do what you expects, change an angle and see what YOU can do to get what you want.

Eg if you want to know where your spouse is, instead of expecting him/her to call, why not YOU call to ask? Or check with him/her in the morning when you wake up, what are his/her activities for the day? Give a reason like you want to know because you want to ask him/her go for dinner/lunch/etc.

Without expectations, marriage life can really be a bliss, because everything s/he does for you is a bonus.

 

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my hb would automatically tell me if he is out late or let me know once he is back via sms when we were still dating...now we r married its still the same...

did u talk to him about this? was he like this in the past?

usually, dating is very sweet but marriage is bitter. :notti:

i also admire all of you

getting married is the second biggest gamble in a woman's life and giving birth is the biggest

mothers have my highest prespect :bow::)

yup, marriage is like gambling lor. you don't know whether you'll win or lose in the end. once you start the "gamble" whether win or lose and you got to face the consquences. :bow:

some people said that men should love and respect the woman who helps him to bear children. :good:

 

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b4 marriage, we talked abt it & he improved. but only recently, he suddenly reverted to his old self. he wun call or sms me whenever he is out having fun. used to call him like 20 over times in the past, and he dun pick up the phone. sms also rarely reply. if reply, it's be monosyllabic. i do find tt kinda irresponsible. but i tink & tink & come to this conclusion: i am not his mother leh, he should have his own space & time, dun need to report to me all the time right? tt's why now i oredi stopped confronting him on this problem, more like acceptance. but just wondering why he liddat one. seriously dun feel good lah.

 

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usually, dating is very sweet but marriage is bitter. :bow:

yup, marriage is like gambling lor. you don't know whether you'll win or lose in the end. once you start the "gamble" whether win or lose and you got to face the consquences. :dunno:

some people said that men should love and respect the woman who helps him to bear children. :P

Yes I agree. Men ought to love his woman and his chidlren, especially to woman that made the sacrify and risks to give birth. Women also needs to understand and respect the men. :deal:

b4 marriage, we talked abt it & he improved. but only recently, he suddenly reverted to his old self. he wun call or sms me whenever he is out having fun. used to call him like 20 over times in the past, and he dun pick up the phone. sms also rarely reply. if reply, it's be monosyllabic. i do find tt kinda irresponsible. but i tink & tink & come to this conclusion: i am not his mother leh, he should have his own space & time, dun need to report to me all the time right? tt's why now i oredi stopped confronting him on this problem, more like acceptance. but just wondering why he liddat one. seriously dun feel good lah.

Is he on a critical mission that is not convinence to reveal himself? Certain jobs nature need the professional to keepsecret just like FBI, ISD... Sometimes he may be busy and needed concentration and prefared not to be disturb. Man are alway like this can do one thing at a time. :sport-smiley-004:

 

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b4 marriage, we talked abt it & he improved. but only recently, he suddenly reverted to his old self. he wun call or sms me whenever he is out having fun. used to call him like 20 over times in the past, and he dun pick up the phone. sms also rarely reply. if reply, it's be monosyllabic. i do find tt kinda irresponsible. but i tink & tink & come to this conclusion: i am not his mother leh, he should have his own space & time, dun need to report to me all the time right? tt's why now i oredi stopped confronting him on this problem, more like acceptance. but just wondering why he liddat one. seriously dun feel good lah.

You don't have to "accept it" or just "resign to fate". Like I said, you can still have what you want, but take from a different angle lor.

While you dun feel good that your husband went back his old self, do you know what he thinks? He may be thinking, "why you kept trying to change me?? I am like that one mah, before marriage you know already!"

Which goes back to the saying...hehe...you know what... :sport-smiley-004:

 

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b4 marriage, we talked abt it & he improved. but only recently, he suddenly reverted to his old self. he wun call or sms me whenever he is out having fun. used to call him like 20 over times in the past, and he dun pick up the phone. sms also rarely reply. if reply, it's be monosyllabic. i do find tt kinda irresponsible. but i tink & tink & come to this conclusion: i am not his mother leh, he should have his own space & time, dun need to report to me all the time right? tt's why now i oredi stopped confronting him on this problem, more like acceptance. but just wondering why he liddat one. seriously dun feel good lah.

it's too much liao if you call him 20 over times and he still doesn't answer/sms you back. 8| what if you really have something very impt to tell him then how. i mean emergency. 8| it's very irresponsible lor. :notti: whether you're his mother a not but also must inform you, right. :sport-smiley-004:

Yes I agree. Men ought to love his woman and his chidlren, especially to woman that made the sacrify and risks to give birth. Women also needs to understand and respect the men. :~

both men and women are equally impt. each individual has his/her own task/contribution in the marriage. :~ he/she should never complain who has done the most sacrifice. :no:

Is he on a critical mission that is not convinence to reveal himself? Certain jobs nature need the professional to keepsecret just like FBI, ISD... Sometimes he may be busy and needed concentration and prefared not to be disturb. Man are alway like this can do one thing at a time. :bangwall:

sms just takes 1-2 min, right. is it just so difficult?? :~

 

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Yes I agree. Men ought to love his woman and his chidlren, especially to woman that made the sacrify and risks to give birth. Women also needs to understand and respect the men. :notti:

Is he on a critical mission that is not convinence to reveal himself? Certain jobs nature need the professional to keepsecret just like FBI, ISD... Sometimes he may be busy and needed concentration and prefared not to be disturb. Man are alway like this can do one thing at a time. :sport-smiley-004:

:bangwall:

Cornetto, if you dun feel good inside, i think you shd talk to your hubby, you nvr say anything, he would assume it's ok with you, that's why he doesn't even bother to inform you he's coming home late...dun let him be...if you dun feel good, u need to tell him...dun suffer in silence...his world now has you in it too...he cannot live like he's single now....he must accept this fact...must ask him to stop living in his own world...it's ironic that he said to you that the world doesn't revolve around you....he shd be the one telling himself that instead....

 

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:bangwall:

Cornetto, if you dun feel good inside, i think you shd talk to your hubby, you nvr say anything, he would assume it's ok with you, that's why he doesn't even bother to inform you he's coming home late...dun let him be...if you dun feel good, u need to tell him...dun suffer in silence...his world now has you in it too...he cannot live like he's single now....he must accept this fact...must ask him to stop living in his own world...it's ironic that he said to you that the world doesn't revolve around you....he shd be the one telling himself that instead....

sometimes, you more you talk and the more quarrel will occur. haiz. delimma again. :sport-smiley-004:

 

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sometimes, you more you talk and the more quarrel will occur. haiz. delimma again. :sport-smiley-004:

But sometimes quarrels help you to understand each other better...it's not totally detrimental to the marriage...if u hold everything inside, one day it explodes, it's gonna bring even more dire consequences...the more you keep it inside, the more miserable you will feel...how to truly enjoy marriage life? I believe everything needs to be transparent and if anything, put on the table and discuss...running away to avoid the problem is not the solution in the long run....:bangwall:

 

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