Enduring your spouse in times of stress

[Air 0]

Hm....seems like your hubby's mind hasn't sunk into the reality of marriage yet...educate him, talk to him, make him understand that while he still can have fun with his friends like he used to, he has an added responsibility now. You're not asking him to cut off all contacts with his friends but at least he must have the sense to call you and inform u that he wil be home late.

The more you say, the more I find ironic that he has the cheek to tell you the world doesn't just revolve around you. Tell that back to his face and also ask him to grow up and be more mature. I somehow agree that u have to teach him a lesson so that he will wake up his idea.

[cornetto 0]

how to teach him lesson? i went drinking wif frens ydy & got home ard 1am. didnt call or sms him. he oso never call & sms me.

anyway am planning to go for marriage counselling.

[Air 0]

how to teach him lesson? i went drinking wif frens ydy & got home ard 1am. didnt call or sms him. he oso never call & sms me.

anyway am planning to go for marriage counselling.

Totally ignore him for a few days and see if he will gan jiong....marriage counselling is good

[cornetto 0]

hahaha very difficult to ignore him leh. my heart very soft.

[TPY 0]

dear cornetto..seems like you still need a bit more time to know him better. courtship and being married as a couple is an entirely different stage. both of u just need time to adjust to each other's expectations and habits...read that both of you going for marriage counselling? its a good start

Glad to hear that! Why not put everything down and go for a honeymoon? It will be better if both were to relax and be able to talk openly.

Next week I am bringing my most valuable asset , which is my wife and children for a holiday. Hope relationship improved by leaps and lap for you. A cheers to you

[korea 0]

hahaha very difficult to ignore him leh. my heart very soft.

me too. i also very difficult to ignore him b'cos too soft hearted. probably, men take us soft hearted for granted.

its around $200 over..i cant rem the price is with hb..

wow, so ex!

[Phantom 1]

i did evaluate on myself before. tt's why i started to give him more space & kept quiet whenever he goes out to enjoy. just tt i dun comprehend why he doesnt at least inform me what time he coming back. difference btw me & ms chicken is tt ms chicken nags but i didnt even ask or confront him on this. if he's bz bcos of work, i wld try not to disturb him.

he assumes tt housework is my responsibility & claims tt he was "helping me" when he was hanging the clothes one day. argued lah but resolved it pretty quickly eventually.

it pains me as well when he kept stressing on the importance of helpers room when we were discussing our wedding dinner (so tt he can keep drinking wif his frens after the wedding). like our wedding is more for him & his frens liddat. tt's why i eliminated all the 5-star hotels liao.

all these unhappiness i just keep in my heart lah, at least liddat still have peace in the marriage. just dunno which day i will erupt only.

we gotta noe each other in 04, got tog in 05 & rom this yr (jan).

Cornetto, thats not enuff, kick up a fuss if need be but :

1) you really need to know what's he's thinking. if 2 ppl argue, thats still ok because there's some sort of communication albeit not the type you want. keeping quiet is the worse, you don't know whats on each others mind.

2) you need to express your mind. Mrs Phantom can come face to face and tell me last time, is spending time with your friends more important than spending time with me. No shouting. just a simple question. Let's just say i don't go out as often but when i do, i make sure i inform her beforehand. if your hubby not automatic, then you'll need to educate him. Deep down inside, he knows it, but you might need to help him action on it.

3) Don't make the marriage a status quo of convenience. IF something happens and you spilt up. both parties will rue the events thereafter and the worst part is to think back and say "why didn't i try harder".

4) Its not the time 2 ppl know each other that's important. its the depth of knowing each other.

Cheers!

[zirhk3355 1]

how to teach him lesson? i went drinking wif frens ydy & got home ard 1am. didnt call or sms him. he oso never call & sms me.

anyway am planning to go for marriage counselling.

Marriage counselling is good because it will let you see the real personality of each other. This is important especially when you have a soft heart and/or don't know what to do now.

But you got to brace yourself for the worst too; counselling DOES NOT save your marriage.

It lets you understand each other better and show you if the both of you are suitable for each other. I saw alot of people going for divorce after counselling because they realised they are not suitable. But its good thing, of course, if not suitable better part now than later when there are more implications.

Good luck!!

[Phantom 1]

how to teach him lesson? i went drinking wif frens ydy & got home ard 1am. didnt call or sms him. he oso never call & sms me.

anyway am planning to go for marriage counselling.

er.. that doesn't mean he doesn't care also. I also don't call or sms my wife if i know she is out.. that was last time.. until she said that she feels that i don't care.. lol.. i thought i was giving her freedom.. now.. even if i restrict her to go out.. she sometimes not happy on the outside.. but inside still quite happy.. lol.. if you get what i mean..

need time and plenty of scolding for the men. ha ha ha..

men live on a totally different planet.

[Air 0]

er.. that doesn't mean he doesn't care also. I also don't call or sms my wife if i know she is out.. that was last time.. until she said that she feels that i don't care.. lol.. i thought i was giving her freedom.. now.. even if i restrict her to go out.. she sometimes not happy on the outside.. but inside still quite happy.. lol.. if you get what i mean..

need time and plenty of scolding for the men. ha ha ha..

men live on a totally different planet.

Agree agree!!

Bro! U shd make friends with my hubby and make him understand the "outside not happy but inside happy" thing! He totally clueless! Makes me sometimes!

Edited August 2, 2007 by Air

[cornetto 0]

er.. that doesn't mean he doesn't care also. I also don't call or sms my wife if i know she is out.. that was last time.. until she said that she feels that i don't care.. lol.. i thought i was giving her freedom.. now.. even if i restrict her to go out.. she sometimes not happy on the outside.. but inside still quite happy.. lol.. if you get what i mean..

need time and plenty of scolding for the men. ha ha ha..

men live on a totally different planet.

can you help to counsel my hubby?

i know i am not making things any better if i hide inside my heart. when i have the courage i will try to bring up the topic. hopefully it won't make things worse

[korea 0]

can you help to counsel my hubby?

i know i am not making things any better if i hide inside my heart. when i have the courage i will try to bring up the topic. hopefully it won't make things worse

sometimes, i hate to bring up any topics or else quarrel again.

[Air 0]

can you help to counsel my hubby?

i know i am not making things any better if i hide inside my heart. when i have the courage i will try to bring up the topic. hopefully it won't make things worse

Hey y not we arrange a session and ask our hubbies out then phantom be the counsellor?? Hehehe...

Pluck up the courage and tell him your concerns..you will be amazed how much better you feel afterwards..avoidance is not solution...

Edited August 2, 2007 by Air

[Phantom 1]

Agree agree!!

Bro! U shd make friends with my hubby and make him understand the "outside not happy but inside happy" thing! He totally clueless! Makes me sometimes!

ha hah a... er.. Air.. will take some time leh.. so i will need to ask for "fee" .. lol.. not so easy leh..

need to meet u.. then after that begin the brainwash cycle.. ha ha ha..

can you help to counsel my hubby?

i know i am not making things any better if i hide inside my heart. when i have the courage i will try to bring up the topic. hopefully it won't make things worse

ha ha.. wah seh.. group therapy liao like that.. heh heh heh..

can lah.. charge to your account nia.. heh heh..

just do what your head tells you. not your heart.

[zirhk3355 1]

ha hah a... er.. Air.. will take some time leh.. so i will need to ask for "fee" .. lol.. not so easy leh..

need to meet u.. then after that begin the brainwash cycle.. ha ha ha..

ha ha.. wah seh.. group therapy liao like that.. heh heh heh..

can lah.. charge to your account nia.. heh heh..

just do what your head tells you. not your heart.

Yes, all will sit in a circle, cross legs, hold hands, close eyes and chant, "We will have a blissful marriage! We will have a blissful marriage!! WE WILL BE HAPPY! YESSS!!"

Haha...like cult like that...